Rebuilding
by StolenSecrets
Summary: Zack Fair was a straight man. He liked his lovers with soft skin, smooth curves, and long gorgeous hair. After being enslaved, Zack realizes that he is way too dependent on his friend, Cloud. AerithxZack ZxC
1. Nightmares

Summary: Zack Fair was a straight man. He liked his lovers with soft skin, smooth curves, and long gorgeous hair. Shinra didn't really care about that, just like they didn't care that Zack's dream had been to be a hero, not a monster. Shinra tries to break him down and tear him apart, but Cloud is what keeps him from giving in. After five years of experimentation and then another year of forced servitude, Zack realizes that he'd do anything to see Cloud's blue eyes again. He also realizes that he is too ashamed of what he's become to look the love of his life, Aerith, in the eye.

A/N: Okay so this story is something I never expected to come out of my brain. I never expected to be able to write this. I didn't know I could think up something so dark, and actually type it out. It's an interesting experience for me. I'm kind of awed at myself, kind of disgusted. I've reached a brick wall in my other stories, but I actually figured out where I was going in this story before I posted this, so I'm pretty certain I'm going to finish writing this one.

Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII

Warnings: Rape, yaoi, NC-17 concepts. Lots of angst.

Do not read if you can't handle it. Be warned, most of the story is not happy, but there will be a happy ending. If I ever write it. AxZ CxZ

Chapter One: Never Broken

_They stated the rules every time they saw him. Over and over again he heard the same paragraph. It disgusted him, made him want to hurl every time he heard those words. They obviously thought that repeating it over and over as they beat, raped, and tortured him would brain wash him into believing it. _Zack had gotten to the point where he pretended he believed it. He got to the point where he followed every order, ignored who was in the room, believed that he was no longer a fighter, was no longer a hero. He let himself act like a slave, and believed that he had never been anything else when he was in this dirty room, locked with the trainer. That is, until the trainer left. When the trainer left the room, Zack thought of Cloud. The kid who'd told him that he was his hero. Then, the thought that he wasn't who he was, the belief that he was less than human, disappeared. When Zack thought of Cloud all the pain he felt disappeared, all the happy times, all the reckless fun, came back to him and replaced what was happening at the moment. After thinking of Cloud he felt clean enough to think of Aerith. His beautiful, warm, gorgeous girlfriend, the one Zack thought would be able to heal every wound that was dealt him. The one who was waiting for him, in her church, worrying for him, praying for him, loving him. If only he felt clean enough for the healing, deserving enough for her love. __

__Cloud cleansed him, and Aerith healed him. He tried never to think of Cloud, or Aerith, when the trainer was there. It felt wrong to think of such good, innocent people when he was being touched against his will.__

"_You do not whine. You do not whimper or flinch or yelp. Not unless your Master tells you to do so. You do not protest unless your master wants you to express your pain, wants you to express unwillingness. You are not a SOLDIER any longer. You cannot use that strength to throw off the man on top of you. You cannot fight against us, or Shinra. You sold yourself into Shinra's ownership and now Rufus owns you. You are his fighter, you are his SOLDIER, not your own. Now that the war is over and you are useless for battle, he wants you. There are no more enemies for you to annihilate. Now you must live on your back and spread your legs. Every single part of you is his. You are a toy for his pleasure. You exist only to give him pleasure. You obey every command no matter how demeaning, painful, or lewd. You do not stop if someone walks in. You do not care who's watching it or who knows what you are. You obey your master no matter what. You are not a SOLDIER, you are a slave. "_

_The voice of the trainer was a greasy oily thing, just as greasy as his skin. His face loomed over Zack. The pock marks, age lines, and other various scars upon his long and narrow features made Zack extremely nauseous. Zack had been dragged to this trainer every day for the last twelve months. This trainer was supposed to break him in. He was supposed to instill in him the very basic rules Zack refused to acknowledge. He was supposed to take everything away from Zack. He wanted to take over Zack's will to be what he was, the long hard grueling days of drills, exercises and missions. He wanted to take everything Zack had worked so hard to achieve. Zack had worked hard. He had forced himself through the pain, through the mako injections that had scorched his veins with a fire so painful he could not withhold his screams, through the nausea that had followed forcing him to throw up blood, through the ache in his muscles that had sometimes hurt so much that he could barely move his fingers and toes. All so that Shinra could destroy him, melt him down into nothing, turn him into a monster, make him less than human, make him a disposable toy. _

_He had wanted to serve Shinra to the best of his ability. He had wanted to go as far as he could go up the ranks of Shinra's army. He forced himself to be the best of the best, so that he could serve Shinra and become a hero. He had become 1__st__ class at age sixteen, had been a Colonel by nineteen, Lieutenant General by twenty-one. He had been the best SOLDIER, the most advanced, beside the General himself. He had surpassed his mentor, taken down Genesis, and lived to watch every man he looked up to be taken over by madness. Now all that he had worked for was nothing. He was no longer among the strongest people in the world. He was a slave. There was a collar around his neck, shackles on his feet._

_He wasn't even human anymore. Neither he, nor any of the SOLDIERS were completely human. He was worse though, Hojo had seen to that. Five years he had been left in that man's hands, to be tortured, bent, broken. Hojo hadn't succeeded in breaking him. He refused to go down like his hero. Sephiroth went mad and destroyed everything he had built because of the scientist, a creature that didn't deserve to be called human. Zack was sane, he had his honor, he had his dreams. He'd proven to Lazard that his dreams were not unattainable. He'd become a hero the day he met Cloud. Cloud had told him with his own voice in the simplest possible words that Zack was a hero. It didn't matter whether he was recognized for it or not. Cloud told him that he had saved him, inspired him, become his hero the day he had met him. The boy fought against Hojo like a bat out of hell. Whether Hojo was taking himself, or Zack, into that back room to be tortured, Cloud fought. He remained strong through everything._

_This inspired Zack and he told Cloud not to let what was happening to his body break his mind. He'd gotten him to swear he wouldn't break. Zack had had everything he'd needed to survive and he wouldn't let Hojo take that from him. Cloud kept Zack fighting, even after he could no longer speak, even after he could no longer move, Cloud had kept Zack going. When he had finally found the strength to escape, when Hojo had finally gone back to Midgar and had taken all his men with him, ensured that there was no way for Zack and Cloud to break out of their Mako prisons, Zack got him and Cloud the hell out of dodge. But Zack had made a mistake that put both of their lives in danger. He'd headed to Midgar because he couldn't leave Aerith behind, he'd had a half brained plan in his mind. Get to Midgar, get Aerith and escape to Icicle Inn, an area that they could hide and escape Shinra's notice until the end of time. He'd been stupid to think he'd be able to make it there. _

_As Zack lay there listening to the trainer demand that he allow himself to be used, Zack ignored one of the rules he'd set for himself. He was too tired, too close to breaking no to think of Cloud. Lately, he was getting so tired of fighting, of letting them do whatever the hell they wanted and simply cutting himself off from it. Lately he'd needed to think of love, of comfort, of innocence. He couldn't keep from thinking of Cloud. He wondered if he had managed to escape, if he had died on that cliff after Zack had been taken away. It had taken an entire army to tear him down, and just as he was falling Zack had seen Cloud's face, and heard his voice for the first time in a long while. He remembered his voice, his eyes, his touch. It always made him smile. Sometimes, Zack wondered about why it was easier to think of Cloud than Aerith. Other times he told himself that thinking of Cloud made him think of who he was before Sephiroth had gone bat shit fucking crazy and destroyed Nibelheim, forcing the horrible truth in his eyes. Shinra was evil. He himself was a monster._

_Cloud had experienced so much more pain than Zack, he hadn't had the enhancements of a SOLDIER to help him fight the mako. Zack had heard Hojo mutter to himself that "Specimen C" was a rare breed that had an extremely negative reaction to mako being introduced to the blood stream. That's why the fucker did it so often. Zack had gotten Cloud a chance at freedom and Cloud could do nothing as Zack took it away. Zack had sacrificed both himself and Cloud in order to get to Aerith, a girl Cloud had never actually met. It proved that Zack was a selfish fuck. He should have forgotten about Aerith and run off with Cloud to somewhere they would never be found. He should have waited until Cloud woke up, until Cloud was able to fight along side him, before he went to Midgar. Zack had the same amount of intelligence as a monster. He was almost as human as a monster. Perhaps, he deserved to be chained up and held down like one._

_The entire time he had been here Zack had been thinking about how he might actually deserve what was happening to him. If Cloud had gotten captured, killed, or worse, taken back to Hojo's labs, then Zack deserved to be destroyed, deserved to be broken. He had let him down, failed at being the hero Cloud had claimed he had always been and always would be._

"_Spread your legs!" The trainer barked. Zack wondered if he should resist today. He had spent so much time resisting. He had killed at least thirty guards and two trainers in the first two weeks. More kept coming, there were more and more and more, and eventually Zack stopped fighting, because every attempt to escape, every life he took, was in vain. He would always be stopped and taken over. No one would help him. He spent his whole life wanting to be a hero, wanting to rescue people from things they were too weak to escape. Now, he was wishing for a hero, wishing someone would fight off the things he was too weak to destroy._

_Zack spread his legs. After the initial month of trying to escape Zack had accepted that there was no way he was getting out. That was when he started seeing the trainer. It had taken the trainer two months before Zack gave in to the violent methods he used. It had taken two months of beating, two months of rape, and two months of unimaginable pain to get Zack to spread his legs on his own. He thought nothing could hurt him after Hojo's experimentation. He knew he had the power to throw the man on top of him over a hundred yards. There was strength in his body, in his senses, that was unparalleled, except maybe by Cloud, who had gone through the same experiences, had the same amount of mako injected into his veins, been trapped in a tube of mako for the same amount of time. Zack could never imagine how it felt to be raped, beaten, used. The constant penetration, the constant use, was more pain than Zack had ever felt. The shame of it, the helplessness, destroyed him. Zack wasn't supposed to be helpless. He wasn't supposed to be trapped by someone he could kill with his pinky finger faster than he could blink. But he was trapped, and this was happening, and sometimes Zack felt like he was just letting it. Like he hadn't been fighting hard enough from the get go. He was tired of fighting after the Wutaian war. Completely sick of it after killing Angeal. Now, h__e'd given up fighting. Fighting led to more beating, it led to worse torture, more demented games, and worst of all, more degradation. He'd hoped it would become less humiliating in time, he was wrong._

_He wanted the pain to stop, he wanted to see the sky again, he wanted the claustrophobia gone, and the grubby, dirty, disgusting guards dead. He wanted the dicks to stop being shoved up his ass and down his throat. He wanted the pain gone. It hurt less to do as he was told. He'd still choke on the dicks, and be unable to sit down properly, but it hurt less. He had resisted so hard, but eventually he did what he was told. All he wanted now was for it to hurt less. _

"_Finger yourself." The trainer ordered. Zack shuddered at the humiliation that order brought to him._

_He wondered what Cloud would think if he'd been told to do the same. He wondered if Cloud would have fought harder than he had. Zack had been awed by how hard the boy had fought against Hojo. The witty remarks, the insults, the yelling, the struggling against bonds that couldn't be broken, Cloud hadn't stopped until he could no longer speak, no longer move. Zack had felt so helpless when Cloud had been shoved into their shared cell, unable to move. Void. Zack even cried when he realized that Cloud couldn't hear him, see him, feel him. No matter how much pain Hojo had dealt him, Cloud hadn't stopped resisting. Hojo had gotten sick of it and made it impossible for Cloud to use his body to support his infallible will. Zack saw how fighting had led to more pain, more screams, more torture than could ever be imagined. Zack felt that Cloud was either the most admirable, or the most stupid man he had ever met. He wish he could have that much stubbornness. Instead, he gave in and played along until Hojo let his guard down enough, he waited for his chance, and then, Zack took that chance and took Cloud with him._

_Once, Zack had had just the same amount of determination he'd seen in Cloud's eyes. Now, Zack was giving up, giving in. Killing his own mentor, watching his hero be reduced to a mad man, five years of Hojo, losing the fight that would have won him and Cloud their freedom, being captured by Shinra and taken to the slave training grounds, a year of rape, sex games, pain, all of this had made Zack lose that spark he' d once been so famous for having._

_The trainer punched him in the nose. Zack felt the crunch of the broken bones and knew that the mako would piece his nose back together. They had continued to give him mako injections. Once he had started to do as told and had stopped fighting, they gave him a larger room that allowed him to exercise his body. The room was still tiny, but it was better than the earthen cage they had given him at the beginning. The first room had been barely big enough for Zack to move around. Zack had had to destroy the walls in order to break out of the room. Now he could work his body and get it back to the physical shape it had once been in. Somehow, he managed to keep the malnutrition and lack of exercise from affecting his body. Perhaps, the sex was exercise enough for his muscles. He knew his legs sure as hell hurt everyday after he'd been locked in a room with the trainer for a few hours. That didn't stop him from doing squats though. _

_Apparently, Rufus still wanted Zack as a SOLDIER, he just wanted him to be a little more, or a little less, depending how you looked at it. Zack could see it now, he'd be stuck as a figure head that led the men while he got fucked in the back ground. Sephiroth was dead, and now his ex-right hand man was to take his place. Zack had been the only one who hadn't grown up with him to become his friend. It hadn't taken quite a bit of hard work in order to break down the walls Sephiroth had set up around him, and it led to him being well known for being the second strongest SOLDIER 1st. Rufus didn't only want Zack as his sex toy, he wanted someone leading SOLDIER that he could control completely. Zack got closer and closer to that point as time went on. Someday, he'd be trapped like Sephiroth had been._

"_You do as I tell you without shame! You do not feel shame. No order is too lewd, no position is too revealing and nothing is too painful. Do you hear me?" _

_Zack nodded and because of his action received a punch to the gut. It had taken another month and a half to get Zack not to shudder or flinch or yelp at the trainer's attentions. An additional half month to get him to answer the trainer's questions verbally._

_Cloud wasn't a very verbal creature, if he remembered correctly. They had been friends before the Nibelheim incident, and Zack remembered how hard it'd been to coax words out of Cloud's mouth. It was ridiculously hard to get that boy to show emotion. He'd been the most stoic, unexpressive, person Zack had ever met._

"_Do you understand?" The trainer repeated. _

_Zack hated that question. Of course he understood, it was the simplest fucking order in the world. How could he not understand after hearing that order so many god damn fucking times?_

"_Yes, Master." Zack responded. _

_There was no emotion in his voice. It was oddly amusing to Zack to realize that. He'd somehow been able to get rid of that. Before he'd been the most expressive happy person you could ever meet, and Zack was sure that if he got out from underground he'd be back to that happy go lucky personality. It would be fake though. Zack couldn't imagine being able to honestly express his emotions the way he had before. He couldn't see himself making it past this stuff as the same person. Now he could rival Cloud in his stoicism. Sometimes he wondered if seeing Aerith again, touching her again, seeing her smile again, feeling her warmth, could really heal him. He was almost certain that it could. She'd healed him after he'd been forced to kill Angeal. The thought of reaching her, and having everything made right again had helped him drag an unresponsive Cloud across the world. _

"_Then do as you're told." _

_But Zack couldn't see himself being able to see her again. The thought of touching her with his soiled body disgusted him. He wouldn't be able to give her the good, honest, happy husband she'd wanted him to be. He was broken now, he didn't deserve her warmth. He shouldn't expect her to accept him, shouldn't ask her to heal him. Not after making her wait six years, not after giving in to the evil that surrounded him. He was a tool: a tool for war, and soon, or maybe he already was?, a tool for sex. He was becoming a puppet of Shinra. He'd always been a puppet of Shinra. If he ever got out of here, there was no way he could go to her. He had to keep her away from the corruption, the unaltered evil, that surrounded him._

"_Yes, Master." Zack lifted his legs a little so that he could reach his hand down and touch himself. He looked at the ceiling and mindlessly moved his fingers in and out. He felt his own fingers go in easily and thought vaguely about how his body no longer resisted the intrusion. A month after the trainer had gotten Zack to answer him, he had gotten Zack to give him oral. It took another two months for him to get Zack to give in to any other demands he could think of. For the last five months the man had been trying to get Zack to fake pleasure at what was done to him. Zack fought violently against this and began to rebel against the simplest orders in whatever manner he could. This led to more pain. Sometimes Zack thought about how inconsequential faking willingness would be. His body did like it, he would obey the orders. What more was it to pretend to be willing? If it made the pain stop? _

_Zack was straight. He liked girls, not men, that was why he couldn't do that. His father had beaten it into him that he could never, never, ever desire the touch of another man. Pretending he desired the touch, actually desiring the touch, it was the same. His father would be so ashamed. Aerith would be so ashamed._

_He wouldn't do it. Never, if he did that, he would disappear. Why couldn't they be happy with him cooperating with the sex? Why couldn't they be happy with him giving them pleasure? Why did he have to pretend to be a willing participant who was actually enjoying it? Why did he have to pretend to want it?_

_He thought of Cloud again, he pretty much shattered that rule. The something within that had kept him from thinking of Cloud in the training room was completely broken now. Zack was too tired now. When he was alone, safe, in his room he liked to imagine that Cloud was still alive, living the life he wanted to live, travelling the world. He thought about Cloud rebelling against Shinra, returning back to the quiet, fiery, strong person he'd been before Hojo. He thought of him becoming the warrior he was meant to be. He thought of him becoming strong enough to defeat Sephiroth, not as just a fluke like the first time, but in an honest to goodness fight of the wills. Thinking of Cloud and all that he could be and what he would be doing if he were alive helped Zack get through this. At first, he'd thought of Aerith. He had hoped her beautiful eyes, and gorgeous smile and the thought of seeing them again would give him enough hope to get him through this. It wasn't, thinking of Aerith made him think of how impure he was, how awful, disgusting, dirty he was becoming._

_When he thought of Cloud, he didn't feel dirty. He felt hope for the both of them. Inspired by the thought that Cloud was living out Zack's dreams, keeping his honor alive, becoming a great hero, Zack kept himself from breaking. Sometimes, in his dreams, Zack saw blonde hair and blue eyes on a hero, coming to save him from the deplorable life he was living. _

_He'd been Cloud's hero, his hope, his inspiration. Now, Cloud was the thing that was helping him cope. Cloud made him think that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to recuperate and become fit to be what he had been. He thought of this as he continued to stretch himself. _

_If he gave in to their final demand, if he pretended to enjoy it, if he became a lowly slave, moaned like a wonton whore, then he could never be fit to be a hero again._

"_Spread your legs wider." _

_Zack mindlessly did what he was told. He brought his legs as close to his shoulders and as far apart as his not so limited flexibility allowed him to. The trainer came closer to him, and Zack pretended that Cloud would barge into the room and save him. Cloud would rip the man away from him snarling, he'd take him away and reinforce in him that he was not worthless, that he was not a failure, that he was not nothing, that he didn't deserve to be used. Just like he'd done in the basement torture chambers of the Nibelheim Manor, Cloud would keep him believing that he was human. _

_Cloud had saved Zack from such pain many times._

_As the trainer leaned even closer, putting his arms on either side of his head, Zack thought of the times he'd been wrapped in Cloud's arms. Thinking of the comfort the small boy's arms had offered him, so long ago, ahelped keep him from shuddering at this man's horrendous embrace. Thrown into the cell he and Cloud shared, he was sometimes unable to move, shaking in pain. On those occasions Cloud had wrapped him in his arms, set Zack's head on his own chest and held him tightly. The boy had been so tiny that Zack had never dreamed that he would fit so well against him. _

_He imagined Cloud was there with him, as the trainer started to run his hands through Zack's hair. It was Cloud's gentle hands and fingers instead._

"_Reach deeper, touch that spot that makes you see stars." The trainer muttered. Cloud was telling him that if he just closed his eyes, fell asleep, then the pain would go away._

_Zack closed his eyes and curled his fingers deeper into his hole. He bit his lower lip as the pleasure filled him. He'd found that spot._

_The trainer gripped his free arm and ran his hands up and down the muscles there. Zack ignored his caresses ignored his embrace. It was Cloud checking hm for cuts and bruises. It was something less disgusting, more innocent. _

_Zack was being wrapping in a hug that was warmer, gentler, than any he had ever experienced before. The warmth above him was something sweet and gentle. Not lusty, hot, fierce. Cloud's arms were soft, almost motherly. They were definitely the arms of a man, but not threatening. Zack liked women's embraces, they turned him on, made him feel fierce desire to possess. Cloud's arms made him feel slightly protected, but not. Almost as if the person with him were his equal in every way. Cloud protected Zack, and Zack protected Cloud._

_Zack had saved Cloud. Cloud had saved Zack. Zack needed saving again, he needed help, he refused to admit it to anyone but himself. He had not yet prayed to Gaia to bring Cloud to him. He wanted Cloud to be safe from the pain of seeing his hero in this horrible, lowly, deplorable state._

_They had comforted each other for a long time after they had been captured. Sometimes Zack would hold the boy in his arms and run his fingers through his hair, rocking him backwards and then forwards. Zack had spoken gentle words of comfort as the precious gift he was holding to his chest cried and whimpered from the pain. Zack had never imagined that he would be hugging another man that way. It wasn't the embrace of a lover, but it was not the embrace of friends, not the embrace of family. Zack knew they were dependent on each other. He felt he couldn't live without. He didn't know if Cloud could live without him, but he hoped so._

_He'd never thought he'd wish to be in another man's arms. Somehow, he felt he belonged in Cloud's embrace. It was strange, at the same time that he longed to be with Aerith, he longed to be back in Cloud's arms. He wished to protect Cloud, have Cloud protect him. It was disturbing how close they had become. It was disturbing that Zack felt he wouldn't be able to live on if he accepted that Cloud was dead. Cloud had probably died a year ago, on that cliff, but Zack didn't let himself think it._

"_Moan, damnit." The trainer said. Zack did nothing._

"_Gaia, all you have to do is pretend you want it. You are enjoying it, I can tell." The man's whisper was in his ear now. Zack hadn't noticed when he moved. He wasn't seeing what was going on around him. He was numb to the expressions on the trainer's face, the snarls in his voice. _

_Zack didn't respond. He pretended he was like Cloud had been. As he'd dragged the boy across the country, he hadn't responded to any words. He hadn't had any expression on his face, no emotion had showed in his eyes. Zack wished he was void to what was going on. Every day he wished he was able to make himself numb to it._

_The disgusting man placed himself between Zack's spread legs. He grabbed Zack's moving wrist and pulled his fingers out. He then roughly slammed three of his own into Zack. _

_Zack repressed the whimper of pain that longed to leave his lips by biting through his lower lip. The trainer leaned in and licked the blood._

"_I'm getting tired of you SOLDIER boy. Your disgusting fuck of a master refuses to allow us to just give up and kill you. If you had any other master we would have killed you ages ago. Do you realize that?" _

_Zack didn't respond and the man slapped him._

"_Open your eyes, look at me. Don't space out you fuck, feel everything I'm doing to you." As he spoke those words his fingers thrust harshly into Zack's prostate._

_Zack opened his eyes and glared at the disgusting face above him. The man grinned and began to relentlessly rub against Zack's sweet spot. The unwanted pleasure was pooling in Zack's belly, his erection was straining. Zack was shaking. He wanted release._

_This wasn't happening._

"_You have no way of getting out of here. Killing yourself won't do. What more is it to just moan for us, hm? You've already been passed around to all of the guards." _

_Zack felt the pleasure settle in his stomach, he was getting close. It was disgusting, the man was being as rough as possible, but Zack was close to crying out in pleasure. He hadn't even touched Zack's erection and he was close to coming, Zack was disgusting. Zack was sure it showed in his eyes, he knew there was a flush on his cheeks. He unconsciously opened his legs even wider. He cursed himself._

"_You've already been forced on your knees. You already have extremely good dick sucking skills. You've taken it up the ass in every way possible. You've been forced to fuck other guys. We've forced you to come. Right now, as I speak, you're almost there. You've passed every other stage, but you still resist the last."_

_Zack was mentally kicking himself. The man had started smiling, and Zack's hips had started moving into his fingers. Zack's body was begging to be fucked, and Zack's usual methods of coping weren't working. The self loathing was getting worse and worse. He was thinking of Cloud, he was wanting it, and he was thinking of his innocent little friend. He was starting to get confused. Another face was overlaying itself on top of the trainer's. Pretending that the rough and sexual caresses of the trainer were the innocent touches of his friend had messed with his head. Zack was imagining Cloud's fingers inside him instead. What the fuck was he thinking? Why was he thinking this? It was so wrong, so disgusting. Zack was becoming bent._

_If Cloud saw him now, impaling himself against a man's fingers, enjoying the feel of something inside of him, he'd be disgusted. He couldn't even imagine how he'd react if he knew that Zack was pretending it was him on top of him. Perhaps it was because Cloud wasn't a threat to him. Cloud wouldn't have wanted to hurt him. Cloud wouldn't have forced him into this like the trainer was. An image of a look of disgust on both Cloud's and Aerith's faces came unbidden into Zack' s mind's eye._

_He felt a look of horror come to his face. He was enjoying this, wanting this, and it wasn't pretend. He was wanting Cloud._

_The man chuckled and continued talking. Zack could see the victory in his eyes. Cloud's eyes were blue. His voice was soft and sweet. This man was nothing like Cloud._

"_Men like to think that they're experts at sex, that you love what they're doing to you. In order to get out of here, you have to take that final step. You have to become the actor, the performer, we need you to be. Just do it, blue eyes."_

_Zack hated the nickname. He had called Cloud blue eyes before, he'd made fun of his delicate features, marveled at the boy's beautiful eyes. Zack had once told Cloud that if he found a woman with his eyes, at an acceptable age, he'd fall in love. Of course, Aerith had beautiful green eyes. He hadn't seen eyes like Aerith's anywhere else, either._

_The trainer was forcing pleasure on him, making it build up in his spine, and he was picturing the face of his best friend. It was disgusting. _

"_What use is it to remain silent? It won't help you. We want you out of here just as much as you want to be the SOLDIER you were before you came here."_

_Zack resisted the urge to yell at him that he wasn't a SOLDIER when he got here. He'd already been disillusioned, already been turned into a monster. He didn't though, the fucker wouldn't care. He'd just get rougher, forcing his fingers even harder into that spot that was making him see double._

_Zack didn't respond. The trainer leaned in and began to suck on his neck in the spots that made Zack force down sighs of pleasure. The trainer knew his body better than Zack himself, by now. He had fucked Zack so many times that it was impossible for him not to know how to touch him in ways that made him feel good. Sometimes, the trainer had actually been gentle with Zack. Over time, Zack could see that the trainer was human. The trainer actually felt some pity for him, he was actually tired of trying to break him, and he actually respected Zack for how long he had lasted. It was revolting, knowing that it was this humanity that was helping the trainer and his determination to break Zack. _

_The trainer shoved his fingers even harder into Zack and he felt his release coming. Zack longed to purr, to moan, to exclaim that he wanted it harder, faster, deeper. Zack longed to cut his tongue out and stab himself in the gut._

_As Zack was coming the trainer grabbed the base of his dick and forced it to be a dry one. Zack gasped and groaned loudly as his body squeezed the man's fingers tightly and his dick twitched in the man's hands. The pressure was too strong. He wanted release. It'd been too long. It was Cloud who was holding him. Cloud wanted to hear that Zack enjoyed it._

_He froze in horror. The realization of what he was thinking was forcing itself on him every five seconds. Everything was contradicting itself._

"_Finally, you make a sound. Took too long, sugar lips." The man let go of Zack's dick and slipped his fingers out of him. He grabbed onto Zack's legs and positioned himself at his entrance._

_He slipped his hardness into Zack and aimed directly at Zack's prostate. The shame of doing what was asked of him never compared to the shame of actually enjoying it. There was a searing pleasure running up his spine. Zack was moaning. His hips were moving and the man was chuckling in his ear. He wrapped his legs around the man's waist tightly. His moans were loud, his cries frequent, he was whimpering in need._

_The chuckles weren't oily, cruel, gross. They were soft, amused, proud, a little bit smug, but harmless. It wasn't the trainer's laugh, it was Cloud's. Zack felt a little bit of pride at knowing he was able to please Cloud. Zack was convincing himself that it was someone he cared about above him. Someone who cared for him was the one moving inside him._

_He felt ashamed. It wasn't Cloud, it was the trainer. He didn't want to please this man. He wanted to kill himself._

"_What is it that you want, baby? Hmm?" _

_He wanted to cut out the trainer's tongue, castrate him, and force his own dick down his throat._

_He wanted Cloud._

"_Harder, please, please, please." Zack begged. He couldn't believe he was begging. He felt his arms moving to drape themselves around the man's shoulders._

_His voice was begging for the man to fuck him harder. His mind was begging Cloud to hold him tighter. He wanted Cloud to make it all disappear._

"_Please, what?" The trainer pulled out of Zack almost completely. Zack felt the sudden emptiness._

_Zack groaned at the loss. He wanted to be filled again. He wanted the pleasure._

_He wanted to leave this place. He'd do anything to leave this place. But there was something he wouldn't do. There was something he couldn't allow himself to do. What was it? How could he have forgotten? Everything in his head was warring with itself. He wanted sex. He didn't want sex. He wanted to be free. He knew that it would never happen. He wanted the man in front of him to fuck him into the mattress. He wanted the man in front of him to burn in hell. He wanted him to experience the worst kind of pain possible. He wanted to lock himself in a room with the man and tear him apart. Kill him as slowly and painfully as he possibly could, only to bring him back and kill him in an entirely different way. He wanted freedom. He didn't want to pay the price. He didn't have a clue what he wanted._

"_Please, fuck me, hard!" Zack gasped out. He moved his hips toward the other man more forcefully. The man grunted slightly. Zack was falling apart. What was wrong with him? What was coming out of his mouth? What was he thinking? He wanted this man to get the fuck away from him. He wanted to rip this man's head off of his body. What the fuck was he doing? Was he finally breaking?_

"_Aww, baby. You've finally lost the fight. Don't be rude, you know who you're addressing. Say it again, louder. Then I'll give you what you want. I'll make you scream in pleasure." The man said. Zack didn't even know the trainer's name. It never bothered him before. The thought never even occurred to him. But right now, as he was acting like a total slut, Zack had that thought fill his brain._

_He was groaning and whimpering in need. He grabbed onto the man's shoulders, squeezed his legs tighter around him, trying to get the man's dick into his ass. He wanted it to go deeper than it ever had before. _

_His mind was disconnected from his body. He saw what was in front of him. He heard what came out of his mouth. He heard what he trainer said. He felt the trainer's body above him. He felt the strain in his hips as he spread his legs too far apart to be possible for a man. He felt the hardness at his entrance. He felt the hollowness inside his passage. He felt everything, but he didn't understand anything. _

_It wasn't clicking. How on earth could he possibly want this? What was going on?_

_His mind wasn't there. His thoughts were on someone who wasn't in the room. He was thinking of things he shouldn't be thinking. He was saying things he shouldn't be saying. He had no clue what the fuck was going on. The confusion was making him lose his grip. He felt his mind sliding away. He was screaming on the inside. He was being torn apart._

_A strangled cry left his lips. He couldn't imagine what he looked like at the moment. Was there wonton desire on his face, or horror?_

_He wasn't locked in a room with the trainer. __He was back in the labs, immersed in mako. He was dragging a body across the plains of Midgar. He was in the bed of a beat up old truck, talking to an old man. He was fighting an army of infantrymen. He was fighting a squadron of SOLDIERS. He was fighting in Wutai. There was dry dessert and rocks around him. There was moist jungle and green vines. Where the fuck was he?_

_He was being held down by five men who were five times weaker than he was as another moved inside him. He was killing all six of the men. He was staring down at an erection he had no idea he had gotten. He was running through halls, searching for a way out. He was screaming inside an earthen cage. What was going on? Where was he? _

_He was trapped he couldn't get out. He was all alone. Before he'd had someone with him, someone holding him together, keeping him alive. Where was he? He needed to protect that someone. Who did he need to protect?_

_What did they look like? He'd had that face in his mind's eye a few seconds ago. Why had he forgotten? How could he have forgotten?_

_He was everywhere and nowhere at once._

_The trainer said something that Zack couldn't hear. Zack had forgotten what was keeping him whole. He was losing himself. He was breaking. He couldn't let himself slide into insanity. He was frantically searching through his memories, through his thoughts, through every face he'd ever seen, every pair of eyes, every pair of lips. He was frantically searching for something to keep him from falling over the edge._

_He'd been imagining it was someone else above him. Who had he been imagining? What was their name? _

_The trainer hit him again. There was even more blood in his mouth. His lip was no longer bleeding. He felt like there were holes in him. He felt a countless number of bullets pierce through his skin. He saw a bunch of weaklings he shouldn't have trouble fighting against destroying him. He felt pain, pain, pain, so much pain. What would get rid of the pain? Was it physical? Was it emotional? What was going on? Where was he? What was he doing?_

_Now there was a cut on the inside of his cheek that was bleeding profusely. He was choking. On blood, on mako, he couldn't breathe. He felt himself hyperventilating and heard the trainer yelling at him frantically, trying to get through to him. But Zack couldn't hear the words. He was seeing green, he was seeing blue, and yellow. He was hearing screams. He was hearing gunshots. What was happening to him? Where was he? Where was he? Was he okay? Had he failed? Did he survive? _

_What was he doing? Where was he? What was he thinking? What was he seeing? Was he alive? Had he managed to do it? He was living out both their dreams, wasn't he? He was keeping them alive? He couldn't be dead, he couldn't. He had to be somewhere. It didn't matter where. Zack didn't have to see him. He just needed to know he was alive. Was he alive?_

_But he did need to know where he was. He had to be in the corner of his own mind. Speaking to him, keeping him grounded, keeping him whole. Where was he? That figure had to be guarding him._

_He was searching frantically. He felt himself clawing at the trainer, trying to pull him closer while trying to push him away at the same time. _

_He was being beaten over and over again. He was hearing the sound of his own bones breaking. He was hearing the sounds of his sword sliding through bodies, hearing the cries of fallen enemies, feeling the bodies beneath his feet. What was going on? Who was he killing? Why was he killing?_

_He was laying down being pinned down. He was standing proudly, the bodies were laying on the ground. Where the fuck was he? What the fuck was he seeing? There were so many warring images running through his mind. He didn't understand. He didn't comprehend. He had lost something, something he had needed to protect._

_What was he protecting? What was he looking for? What was it? Where was he?_

_Who was it? He was shaking. There was a word leaving his mouth. He couldn't understand what he was saying. He knew that if he heard it he'd be able to put everything straight in his mind._

_Where was…..? He stopped moving. He saw a beautiful pale face above him. There was confusion, there was doubt on that face. He wanted to get rid of the pain etched into those features. He felt himself reach out a hand and grab the back of the face's head. He felt soft hair in his fingers. The hair was blonde. The eyes widened a little and the mouth dropped just a bit. There was a bit of a pout on those lips. Zack could feel a smile on his own. He thought the pout was cute. He felt himself bring the forehead of the boy above him to his chest. There were words leaving his mouth._

_Then he remembered. The name, the reason. Cloud. _

_And then he understood what was going on. He was staring up at the trainer, in the same position he'd been in before. He'd never been fighting against enemies, killing guards. He hadn't been getting beaten._

_Zack looked into the trainer's eyes and felt a mocking smile come to his lips. He heard words leave his mouth that he had sworn would never leave his mouth. But he didn't care. He'd do anything to get out of here, he had no pride anymore, no shame. He didn't give a shit. It didn't bother him. He'd become what he always wanted to be. He'd fought through things he'd never imagined fighting. He'd survived. It didn't really matter if he gave in to their last demand. It wouldn't make him less than he was. He had a reason to fight. He just had to wait for the perfect opportunity. He'd done it before, played along until the enemy's guard was down._

_Nothing could break him. Saying these words, pretending to like it, letting Rufus Shinra use him as a sex toy, it wouldn't break him._

_He moaned slightly and forced his chest against the man on top of him. He brought himself as close to the other man as was possible. He was moving against the trainer like a whore. It didn't matter. He thrust his dick into the trainer's stomach, rubbed his ass against the trainer's dick. They wanted him to be a slut? Sure, fine. He'd do it. He could kick all of their asses, tear apart all of their hopes and dreams apart. He'd serve Shinra. He'd become their poster boy and make the men idolize him. He'd gain as much power as he could. His personality attracted people like flies, his speeches inspired men to serve. _

_He'd serve Shinra until he found Cloud. Then, when he had enough loyal men, he'd bring Shinra down. It was easier to tear something apart from the inside._

"_Please, fuck me, master." Zack whispered into the trainer's ear._

Zack woke up in a cold sweat. He'd been dreaming this dream for quite some time. It returned at least once a week. Every time it left him dazed and confused.

A/N: Okay, just so you know. Zack isn't going to be a timid little submissive character. Neither is Cloud. They will both bottom, they will both top, they are equals in their relationship. Right now, all that's between them is a seriously fucked up codependency, mainly because of what they went through together in Hojo's labs. In this chapter Zack is dreaming, that's why it's in all italics. The dream is more a memory of the day he decided to destroy Shinra by pretending to be a good little puppet. The confusion he feels is because of a year of being trapped under ground, half starved, constantly beaten, raped, and tortured. He isn't really as weak as he seems in this chapter.


	2. Routines

A/N: It took a long time for me to write this next chapter. The first chapter was just as bad, but my mind had been actually IN the story then. Gwen Stefani's "I'm Just a Girl" was playing in the background when I first tried to start this chapter. I think it's reasonable to blame that song on my inability to access the angst, determination, and wanting Zack feels. Strangely enough, the next song Pandora threw me was "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. That made it so much easier. Funny really, "You Make Me Sick", by P!nk, "Fighter", by Christina Aguilera, "Rolling in the Deep", Adele, and "S.O.S", Rihanna, followed. I have no idea why I have the urge to share the songs I'm listening to as I'm writing. Perhaps it's the ADD?

Okay, now for serious matters. This chapter isn't a lot of dialogue. It isn't a lot of action, but it's a lot of setting that you need to know. This story is set after Crisis Core and takes what happens in the original game and bends it almost unrecognizably. There's a lot to describe about what kind of life Zack is living after he is done with being trained as a slave. Trust me, once I get past this crazy need to explain every bit of current affairs going on with this world it will be less page upon page of description and more, well, more plot, more dialogue, hopefully more funny. I tend to go from angsty and melodramatic one chapter to funny and sarcastic the next in some of my other stories. I'm getting a little annoyed at the angst and am wanting to think of things that are funny. The only thing I can think of is giving Reeve Tuesti Asperger's syndrome, since he's like a genius and people with the disorder oftentimes are. I really hope it doesn't offend anybody. It's my pitiful attempt at humor.

I'm building up a very detailed little world here, so please bear with me. I know that this chapter's extremely long. I fear that it might be too drawn out. 0_o This chapter was really hard to write. So much so that I find myself making this 5,000 word essay on Zack's life as general a new chapter. I will go on from where this chapter ends, and it will hopefully make sense to the readers. If this chapter is as boring as I fear it is, please tell me. I apologize! And promise that the next chapter will have action. Maybe not CloudxZack, but there will be events described in detail, not a few years of information just glossed over.

Disclaimer: This poor unfortunate soul owns nothing that could get them incriminated. In other words, don't sue me. I'm not profiting, trust me.

Chapter Two: The General of the F***ing army

Zack had taken to staring at the white ceiling of his apartment in the mornings. He normally woke up on his side in a modified fetal position that allowed him to keep his back to the wall, his face to the door, and a short sword between his arms. He almost always followed the same routine: he opened his eyes, straightened his legs out, turned over his left shoulder to face the ceiling, and took the sword in his left hand, stretching his left arm until the sword touched the wall to his left. The sword was much like Genesis's rapier in width but much shorter in length. As much as Zack hated to admit he needed a safety blanket, this sword had filled such a role for him ever since he'd gotten out of the slave kennels on the outskirts of Midgar. The sword was always with him, night and day, and he always used it to touch the wall to his left, because the very fact that he had enough space to stretch his arm out all the way with the two and a half foot sword in his hand meant that he wasn't underground anymore. There was a nice soft bed beneath him, clean sheets of his own choosing, there was a soft blue blanket that he never really needed bunched up against the wall beside him, and there was a night stand with an alarm clock that never got a chance to ring (he always woke up five minutes before the set time) on his other side. The closet across from the foot of his bed held his SOLDIER uniforms and a few sets of civvies. The door to his right opened to a hallway that led to his small regulation standard living room and even smaller regulation kitchen. Everything he needed or wanted was with him, in this room. The buster sword was always beside the bed, leaning against the wall, remaining, forever, a symbol of Zack's honor.

Red tassels, shining steel, spotlessly absent of wear tear and rust, the sword looked almost exactly the same as it had been when it had been on the back of Zack's mentor. Zack, on the other hand, was not the same. Zack's honor lay inside the sword, not within his soul. Zack had kept his honor within everything he did, before. He'd felt free to wield it in every fight he had. He had never done anything he should have been ashamed of. He had used his principles, honor, morals to guide his every step. Now, he took out his ideals of honor only when he needed to give speeches to the troops. Now, he kept his honor locked safely within a sword that was rarely used. Now, he was ashamed to be who he was and cut himself off from who he had once been. He had to do this in order to keep from falling into despair. It was no use to Zack to keep those thoughts alive, not when there was no way he could to do them justice. He made himself as numb as possible to the sin that was around him. He tried his hardest to ignore what he was allowing others to do, what he was doing himself, and what he would have once said upon seeing such things. It was wrong. Everything that surrounded him was wrong, wrong, _wrong._

The sense of wrongness was rarely there when he woke up in the mornings. He opened his eyes and looked straight ahead at the door. He turned over and took in the same comforting popcorn ceiling he'd had in his bedroom as a child. When Zack forced himself to sit up and realized there was a sword in his hand, that feeling came to him again. He wasn't safe, he wasn't comfortable, and he had no right to be. Everything about the world around him, every belief he'd once held, was wrong.

Zack still rolled out of the bed with his usual energy, he still bounced a little when he landed with both feet planted firmly on the floor, and he still did a set of fifty squats before he did anything else. Short sword in both hands, left hand on the hilt, right at the end of the blade, Zack bounced down, bringing the sword horizontally above his head, and up, bringing the sword down so that it was parallel with his hips. He always did such things before Nibelheim, before Modeoheim, he still did them now, but there was no smile on his face. Zack never smiled like he used to. When he was alone there was always a firm frown on his lips, pain, anger, hatred, in his eyes. Zack's personality wasn't as flashy, as happy, as kind as it used to be. The new sword he woke up holding wasn't as flashy as the buster sword. The buster sword fought monsters, long range enemies like the gun-spear wielding Wutaians, things that were evil and deserved to be destroyed. The short sword killed humans, tortured enemies, drew blood just for the sake of causing pain.

The short sword was perfect for the less…. Honorable, things Zack had to do nowadays. The buster sword was a trade mark of Lieutenant General Zack Fair. The short sword, entitled Katan, belonged to Zack Fair the General of the Shinra army. In recruitment posters it was the buster sword that everyone saw, when he went about his work the buster sword was still on his back, but Katan was always there at his hip. It was the only sword he actually used. He wouldn't soil the buster sword with the innocent blood, unnecessary cruelty, and excessive violence of his current position. He kept his honor safely locked away, inside the sword on his back. It was safe there, along with his soul. When Zack woke up he found himself hoping praying, pleading with every deity he knew that his honor, heart, and soul would remain intact, waiting for him to reclaim them. He hoped that once he'd destroyed Shinra and achieved all that he was working for, he'd be able to shake off the things he'd done and go back to the person he'd once been. He knew that his reasoning, his goals, more than justified what he was doing as general. He knew that, in reality, he had no choice in the matter. He might appear to be the one giving the orders but he was really just as powerless as the nameless grunts he was sending to the slaughterhouse. He was fulfilling the duties that were forced upon him by greedy men who had no respect for life or death. No concept of good, fair, honorable.

Sometimes, Zack woke up in the middle of the night, plagued by nightmares. Sometimes those nightmares were merely memories that returned to him over and over and over again in the attempt to break him down. Most of the time, Zack was sos dead tired by the time he finally lay down that there were no dreams to haunt his subconscious. It was really no surprise to him when he had nightmares. At first, he'd been ashamed to realize that he, a grown man, woke up quivering like a child. Nowadays, he figured it came with the job. Anybody who did what he did, had seen what he'd seen, and lost what he had lost would be having nightmares. Hell, anybody who'd seen or done half of it would have either killed themselves or been sent to a psych ward by now.

Seeing what Sephiroth used to do every day first hand, Zack felt it was a miracle he hadn't turned into a murdering sociopath sooner. To Zack, the fact that the man eventually turned into a raving lunatic was proof that Sephiroth had a soul. A normal man would not have lasted very long in this position. They would have either been severely corrupted by the wealth and power, turned into a monster just like their superiors, or driven stark raving mad by the crushing combination of responsibility, guilt, and attention. You had to do everything perfectly, or the death of the men below you was blood on your hands. Everyone knew who you were, there was no anonymity, no way to hide from the work you did for a living.

Zack couldn't go out in public without a disguise. If he did he risked being jumped by crazed fans, Wutaian assassins, or terrorists expressing their displeasure with Shinra's disregard for the planet and all those who live, breathe, _feel_. The last time a group of terrorists had tried to kill him he had been sorely tempted to get on his knees and beg them to kill him, beg them to stop the tyranny, the death, the cruelty, the all consuming _greed_ of Shinra. He had been so tempted to tell them that they were right in everything they claimed. He was so tempted to join them and publicly announce his enmity, his abhorrence, his deep seated wealth of hatred, but he didn't. If he had, he would have failed in accomplishing everything this little charade was supposed to accomplish. He played the good loyal general Shinra expected him to be.

Everyday Zack woke up to give Shinra's orders, to fight Shinra's battles, to do the dirty work, and take out the garbage. He did this with an encouraging smile to the infantrymen he was sending to their deaths. He was forced to order men on suicide missions. He was forced to torture, maim and kill. He was forced to get on his knees. He was forced to lie on his back, on his belly. And he was the _General of the fucking military. _By all rights, Zack should be the second most powerful man in the world. He always wondered what the people would think if they knew he was as powerless as a new born, as obedient as a dog, a _slave, _a whore. There was a great deal of fear that gripped his entire body at this thought. No one could find out. No one would understand.

His job, the people he had to serve, his meager paycheck, the constant, petty quarreling at staff meetings, the rising death toll of yet another Wutai war, every minute detail of his life, everything he was forced to see and do, made him constantly wish he could rip the collar off his neck and follow Sephiroth's example, go on his own little killing spree. Zack would actually blame and destroy the people responsible, not a bunch of random townsfolk. He wouldn't set about destroying the entire human race. He had just enough faith in humanity left for that. Zack would destroy every powerful official in Shinra. No one would be spared, except, maybe Reeve Tuesti, the head of Urban Development. He wasn't a bad guy, although Zack believed he was probably suffering from Asperger's syndrome, considering his clumsiness, lack of social tact, inability to look people in the eye, and desire to make robots that could attend the weekly staff meetings for him. Then again, Zack wanted a robot to attend the weekly staff meetings for him, as well, so perhaps Tuesti wasn't as strange as he thought. Then again, the man's constant tinkering with machines in his little office suggested otherwise.

Zack sometimes dreamed about waking up one day free of the collar and chains that prevented him from being able to just get up and go to the top floor and destroy everything in sight. But this dream always ended with him waking to find that the collar and cuffs were still firmly in place, still making it impossible for him to fight against his captors.

Zack woke up angry, sad, relieved, horrified, confused. Every day it was the same, his body went into its automatic routine while his mind toiled through the most recent events and reminded him of what he was doing, what had happened, and where he was. He always woke up with a dizzying sense of _where the fuck am I? _He always had nightmares that felt more like memories.

Zack couldn't recognize his emotional state anymore. He was filled with hate, regret, fear. He wasn't broken. He'd never be broken. He would obstinately refuse such a state until the day he died, even after the day he died. But he wasn't whole either. There was something missing. Maybe it was that spark of energy that had pushed him on when he was younger? The enthusiasm he had once held for life was missing? The sense of freedom that had made him comfortable in the world around him was gone? Or perhaps he really was broken and had not yet realized it? He had no clue who he was anymore.

Before, he had devoted himself to his goals, constantly training, constantly bragging, a bit cocky, a lot enthusiastic. He'd made up for his over bearing personality with his charm. He'd contrasted his over confidence with his constant drive towards perfection. Now, he was the one calling the shots, no more little missions with troopers and Turks to show off. Now, there was no more training to make him better than he was before. (Everyone was too afraid to spar with him, all the VR missions were cake, and it was a well known fact that Zack could take on every single fighter in the building and whoop their asses into the ground.)

Now, he was in a position that required him to hide what his real goals were. No more parading around "I want to be a hero" as his life's goal. Now his life's goal was: Destroy Shinra, Destroy Slavery, Destroy, Destroy, destroy. It sometimes saddened Zack to realize that before he'd been all about saving people, saving animals stuck in trees, protecting kids from the monsters roaming the woods, pulling little girls out of wells. He'd once been filled with an overwhelming desire to create things, and now he was driven by the desire to tear things down. He couldn't go out and declare his enmity with blatant acts of destruction like the terrorist groups and protesters in the streets. He had to sneak around in the background, creep around the lines of legal and illegal. He had to use stealth, cunning, darkness, to get to what he wanted.

He'd never thought he'd see the day where Zack Fair ran an undercover operation designed to bring about a bloodless revolution. (Well, as bloodless as killing the entire top floor of Shinra could be) Never before had he thought he would stoop to the methods he now used. It was working, though. There was a steady trickle of people joining Zack's cause. From the ground up Zack was infiltrating Shinra and establishing everything he needed for a military coup. In time, Zack would be able to remove Shinra, Heidegger, Scarlet, and all of the other corrupt officials from power. He'd take everything down and rebuild it so that Shinra stood for the greater good, for honor, for freedom, mercy, and charity, not greed, wealth, cruelty and slavery. The first thing to go, after the corruption, would be the name.

Perhaps, the 'Old Zack' would have found this exciting: a top secret mission for the greater good. The current Zack found it exhausting. The 'Old Zack' never really had to think about things too much, not that the 'Old Zack' hadn't been perfectly capable of complex thinking. It was just that he hadn't needed to use it that often. Zack had always been extremely intelligent. Sure, book smarts were an issue, but that was just because Zack hated, _hated_, reading boring old textbooks. People smarts? Zack was, and always would be a genius in the department of people. He could read people, understand their thoughts, their mannerisms, within seconds of first meeting them. He had the ability to effortlessly charm a person onto his side without them ever figuring out that they were being persuaded. He had a gravity about him that drew people to him, that made people trust him, look up to him, respect him.

In every single way possible he had the best personality for a leader. It was almost effortless, being a strong, reliable, honest leader. If it weren't for the fact that there were things Zack prayed would never, ever, ever, become common knowledge for those under him. Zack couldn't be as honest as a leader should be. It was physically impossible for him to tell anyone the truth of what he was. Every time he opened his mouth to speak it, his throat would close up, his mind would go into immediate panic, and he ended up bolting from the room. It was just as well, he doubted anyone would take too well to knowing that the only reason Zack was the General was because there was a collar at his neck and cuffs at his wrists that kept him from running to the next continent and helping Wutai _slaughter_ the company. He doubted anyone would take too well to knowing that he was not only a slave, but a _sex_ slave, a well-trained, extremely skilled, bed-warmer. Those who actually cared for him would be ashamed of him, would pity him. Those who didn't care would shame him, mock him, amuse themselves with his pain.

They couldn't know, Zack's loyal, trust worthy men, his troops, his recruits, people who looked up to him, valued his leadership, and treated him as a _god._ They couldn't know that Zack was a victim. They couldn't know that Zack was a step away from becoming certifiable. Zack had nightmares about things they would never be able to understand. Phobias for doctors, confined spaces, and needles that were so strong they would wonder how he could leave his apartment without panicking. Zack had scars from injuries none of his men would have been able to survive. Thoughts so dark that they would bend the normal mind until it broke. Sometimes they showed. The anger, cruelty, desire for _revenge_ that would never be sated came out and turned him into the demon no one truly knew. When he was locked in a room with a captive Zack was as demonic as they come, awe inspiring, horrifying, cruel, _evil, and monstrous_.

The first coherent thought that entered Zack's mind in the morning was: _you are a monster. _This thought was always followed by:_ An evil being, a man who tortures innocents. Do not forget this. You are no hero. _Then a face entered his mind and the memories of his horrid acts disappeared and the last thought was replaced by the thought of a soft, slightly monotonous voice saying, "You are my hero, everything I want to be. Thank you." So Zack abandoned all thoughts of himself being a monster and held on to that thought. He went about his day and did the things he had to do, became the things he had to be. All the while he kept the thought in his mind: _You are doing this in order to be a hero._

So Zack became things he'd never thought he'd become. Did things he couldn't have even imagined. Before he knew it he was someone he couldn't even recognize.

There were two hours every day, that Zack let this thing he'd become out. He let go of his faltering humanity and got rid of all the ugly emotions that filled him by causing others pain. Zack never let himself think about how good he'd become at doing such a thing.

He'd become a master at torture, having been on the receiving side of it for so long. Tseng was a torture expert unmatched by any Turk ever to grace the halls of Shinra, but even he couldn't equal Zack. He was capable of doing things Tseng couldn't even imagine, couldn't stomach. There was an art to torture, a shocking level of creativity required to break a man into spilling his deepest, darkest, most important secrets. Zack could smile at a man and inspire a shiver of pure ground breaking fear in one moment, and then make him feel like he was safe at home, talking to the most trusted of his friends, with a smile that was only slightly different. He could harm and comfort in the same breath. The confusion, the pain, the complete incomprehension that sometimes graced their faces amused him to no end. He coldly watched them break, amused at how easy it was to do so. Envigorated with the knowledge that he'd never let himself get to that point and never would. Zack's will would remain unbreakable.

When Zack wasn't in a dark mood, when he wasn't feeling a desperate need to release all the anger, hatred, _wrath _that built up within him, he made it a goal of his to get the captive to give him the necessary information as painlessly as possible. Unfortunately, this normally meant less blood, not less psychological damage. Zack had figured out how to use words to cut deep, to lance old wounds in the most painful way. He understood them with just a little bit of information. It was the depth to his understanding of them that scared them the most. How could a man know so much about them when they met only seconds ago? How can he understand them? How on earth can he be so calming, kind, gentle one moment, and then fill them with unbearable pain the next? Zack figured he understood how to break people, just like he understood how to build them up, inspire them, and get them to be the best that they could be.

It wasn't only the psychological that Zack had a talent for. The physical harm Zack inflicted alone was enough to tear a torture victim apart from the inside out. The skill and ease Zack exuded in the torture room left torture experts in awe, victims in terror.

Zack had noticed that it wasn't very hard for him to awe people nowadays. Rumors were spreading about the friendly, honorable, personable general. The new recruits wanted to meet him, speak to him, find out if he was really as talented as everyone said. Zack made a conscious effort to create outstanding loyalty, first in the upper ranks, then in the lower ranks, and he was fairly certain that, after three years of hard work, he had gotten to the point where he could order his men to do just about anything for him, even revolt. He still had a lot more he needed to do, but he was getting there. He just needed to make sure nothing happened to fuck up all of his hard work.

* * *

><p>"<em>You do not whine. You do not whimper o<em>_r flinch or yelp. Not unless your Master tells you to do so. You do not protest unless your master wants you to express your pain, wants you to express unwillingness. You are not a SOLDIER any longer. You cannot use that strength to throw off the man on top of you. You cannot fight against us, or Shinra. You sold yourself into Shinra's ownership and now Rufus owns you. You are his fighter, you are his SOLDIER, not your own. Now that the war is over and you are useless for battle, he wants you. There are no more enemies for you to annihilate. Now you must live on your back and spread your legs. Every single part of you is his. You are a toy for his pleasure. You exist only to give him pleasure. You obey every command no matter how demeaning, painful, or lewd. You do not stop if someone walks in. You do not care who's watching it or who knows what you are. You obey your master no matter what. You are not a SOLDIER, you are a slave. "_

Zack shuddered awake, shaking violently. It had been a while since he'd had that nightmare. He'd gotten over the days of captivity that led him to where he was. At least, he'd convinced himself that he had. After so many years suffering through that sense of wrongness, Zack had become numb to such things. This morning, however, he woke up in a cold sweat. Self-hatred and an overwhelming disgust were running through him, instead of his usual, reluctant feeling of calm.

As Zack turned over his left shoulder, rolling out of his usual defensive sleeping position and onto his back, he had a feeling that shit was going to hit the fan soon. The ceiling he was facing was as white, clean, and normal as it was on any other day. The room around him was as calm as ever. The noises in the street outside his window, the sounds of the other SOLDIERs waking to their usual day, were all normal. Zack was used to hearing the sounds of everyone on his floor. He'd long ago realized that his senses were impossibly astute. He was used to the murmuring voices he currently heard outside the door. There was always this tense, excited, feeling in the air around him. There was always the underlying tension that permeated the building. Everything was like any other day. But there was something even more wrong with the air around him, something different.

But it was the same. His alarm had woken him. He was preparing to get out of bed and take his shower. He was going to eat the nasty, protein, mineral enhanced, slob the labs made him eat instead of real food. He was going to go to his office, do his morning paperwork and see what was on his schedule today. If he remembered correctly he was going to lead a few training missions with some recruits in the hopes that his presence would inspire them to succeed in the SOLDIER program. He was then going to give a good bye speech to a group of five ten man squads of infantrymen, three 2nd class SOLDIERS, and two 1sts. They were to be deployed to the center of a Wutaian jungle that was thought to have a hidden fort that held the leader of those opposing Shinra's presence. They had started to hide, they were trying to run, Wutai was about to fall again.

Thoughts of Wutai filled Zack's mind as he began his usual squats.

Nine years ago, Zack had seen Wutai fall the first time. They'd given up before their resources were out, they hadn't been completely defeated, and they came back a second time with more power, more determination, better knowledge of SOLDIER's tactics, and more materia than he'd thought possible. He knew there was something helping them this time around, but he hadn't really bothered to find out what. He didn't care. He wished that they would stop fighting, stop resisting, stop forcing him to order them to be taken down. He was going to tear down the enemy they were fighting against from the inside and set them free from Shinra's grasp, help them rebuild their world of tradition. He was just waiting for the right moment. He'd know it when he saw it. In the meantime, he was ordering the fighting.

_Whoa, Zack, no depressing stuff right now. After that dream you need to keep yourself away from feelings. _Zack forced his mind to crash to a halt and begin thinking about his schedule anew. Thoughts of how guilty and hypocritical the war made him feel were a distraction. If Zack was going to make it through the day, he had to keep focused on the facts. He had to be all work, no play, or in this case no angst.

After he made his grand speech of honor, and informed the troops that their mission was an extremely important mission that would end the war, he was supposed to debrief a group of 1sts who were to relieve the loyal men in Wutai who had been running operations for him for months on end. Three SOLDIERS were to take over the camps, another was to be a diplomat, carrying President Shinra's first list of demands to Godo, the emperor of Wutai. He was glad to know that some extremely loyal and hard working Soldiers were finally returning home. He'd spent as much time as he possibly could on the front, running operations himself, first hand. He'd spent one and a half of the three years he'd been the General in Wutai, but Rufus had gotten impatient having to go without his slave, and had demanded that his father order him back home. The President still expected Zack to be the one running every operation in Wutai, without actually being there.

Zack gave orders to those who were running the camps. He made sure he was informed of every little detail as soon as something noteworthy occurred. Every battle won, every battle lost, every desperate situation, Zack was informed of it all. He had logs of every event neatly filed away in his office. He had parts of his mind devoted solely to the war. Sometimes, there were delays that kept Zack pacing in his office for hours. He was constantly in his office discussing battle plans and strategies with those who were on the field. He always kept four phones on him, one for each major center of battle in Wutai to reach him directly in case of emergency, one for his secretaries to inform him of urgent matters at home. He made sure there were bright eyed and bushy tailed men in the communications room at all times, informing him of the state of things in the smaller areas of occupation. He was getting only three hours sleep a week. Still, despite all his efforts to ensure that there was as little death, as little fighting, in this war as possible, the loss of life was immense.

Sometimes, Zack was infuriated with the position he was in. He was running operations opposing the terrorists, he was running the war in Wutai, he was attending the ridiculous staff meetings, he was training recruits, giving speeches, doing mountains and mountains of paperwork, and all the while Rufus was demanding that he waste his time getting fucked.

Today, Zack channeled the stress that filled him at the thought of the ridiculous demands on his time into physical activity. He decided that he would do about ten times as many squats as he usually did. He would leave his apartment an hour later than usual, hoping that he could talk his way out of seeing Rufus that morning because he was running behind schedule. These thoughts led to thoughts of other ways he could sneak out of his duties and manipulate the system of Shinra military protocol to his whims. Zack had spent too much time being a good day nowadays. He needed to rebel a tiny bit and slack off, just a little. He'd been working steadfastly, focusing so well, that it seemed like he actually wanted to be a good part of Shinra. He was becoming a workaholic in his desire to escape his inability to do anything that achieved immediate results. This was something that Zack did not want to do, considering the fact that if he did his job even a tiny bit better there'd be no way in hell Shinra could be taken down.

Zack spent a lot of time building up his following. The war was aiding with this, the number of people protesting on the streets, the survivors returning without their comrades, an increasing unhappiness within the ranks were benefits of the war that Zack preyed upon. He told those who were leaning toward the side of despair that he saw what they saw. He told them that he was doing something about it, secretly, that he had plans, and that Shinra wouldn't get away with what they were doing. He asked them to join him, and they did.

Steadily, Zack worked himself to the bone. He dealt with the pressures of his position spectacularly at times. Others, he was filled with an overwhelming anxiety that he had to be fucking things up somewhere.

When Zack reached his five hundredth squat he decided that today was a good day for push-ups. There were too many things that Zack could fuck up that day. He needed to make sure that he didn't have any thoughts swarming around his head that could screw him over. Physical exercise gave Zack a chance to think, and work out all excess energy that came from anxiety and nervousness that hadn't been worked out at the beginning of the day.

He was going to spend hours getting information about a terrorist operation that was supposed to occur that day, after all the business with the recruits and the war. There was a routine to Zack's schedule, a pattern within every day that was sometimes broken by events such as this. Zack woke at four am and began his duties at 5. He spent the first three hours training recruits, spent the next five worrying about every little detail in Wutai. Normally, he then took some time to help the Turks out with some of their 'information gathering', this normally took one to two hours. After this Zack directed his attention to his paper work, bugged his secretaries, and attended to Rufus. Toward the end of the day he spent some time on the terrorist activity within the country, which had picked up quite a bit with the new war. This upcoming day, however, had a pressing matter involving terrorists that was taking up his midday 'information gathering' time. Apparently, Tseng had caught a couple of terrorists that were part of a group planning to blow up one of the Midgar reactors that day.

Zack looked at his clock when he completed his fifty fifth push-up, a reactor was going to blow within the next ten hours. Zack had been informed of this the night before and had ordered that the reactors be cleared of all civilian presence and that there be squads of both SOLDIERs and infantrymen guarding every single one of the seven reactors within the city. His forces were stretched out, it was a bad position for him to be in, and the tower was a little less secure than it normally was. Zack knew this, and perhaps this was why he felt so anxious about the day ahead of him.

However, this wasn't all that different from the normal. As Zack thought about the upcoming day for the third time, he lay on his back and started to do sit ups. He convinced himself that it was going to be just like any other day. Zack was in his routine. The routine had been the same for three years. It fluctuated sometimes, but it was almost always relatively the same. He'd dealt with internal and external crises over and over again. He knew what he was doing. He was performing his duties to the best of his ability, despite the fact that it wasn't his choice to take them on.

There had been many threats to blow up reactors in the past, but recently a terrorist group called AVALANCHE had actually followed through with its threats and blown up the reactor in Gongaga. He'd dealt with that with as much poise as possible. His men were shocked to find that he was from there. He'd stopped two other operations like this and had captured many members of this group.

The night before had been extremely long. He'd been walking to his apartment after realizing he hadn't slept in four days and was reaching his limits when Tseng had called to inform him of his capture. Zack had ordered him to get as much information as possible from them so that he could focus his men in the proper sector and ensure that there was absolutely no way the reactor would really be destroyed. Tseng had called him back at three, just two hours after Zack had gone to bed, to inform Zack that the men he'd captured were low level and couldn't give a lot of information. Zack had told him that if he didn't get the men to give the location of at least one other AVALANCHE operative he was going to cut off his nuts. Just fifteen minutes later Tseng called to say that he was sending Reno and Cissnei to capture two other higher level AVALANCHE operatives whose positions had been compromised. Zack had told him that he'd take these new captives and make them spill the beans personally just because his sleep had been disturbed.

_Really, nothing is extremely different from the norm. Same old same old. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Why the fuck am I freaking out? _Zack wondered as he stepped into his shower and began to wash his hair and body. He hadn't taken a shower in two days, and was starting to get smelly.

What was it that was making him feel that his routine was about to go to shit? What was it that was making him feel like everything he had worked for, everything he had built so far, was about to fall apart? He had a feeling that this day was a day where things were going to happen. This scared him, and he tried to use the normalcy of the morning to calm his nerves.

_Nothing is going to happen today, the sounds are the same as usual. Everything is fine. The fucked up routine of your life, the repetitive schedule of doing things you don't want to do, it's the same as usual. Nothing bad is going to happen, Zack, so don't be afraid. Nothing good is going to happen, so don't get excited, either. Don't feel hope, don't feel fear. Don't feel anything. Put on your happy smile, and act as though it's a normal day. You aren't getting this feeling. Nope, it's not there. _Zack thought. He took a moment to stare at the suds that were swirling in the drain. Soon, he'd be washing the blood of those AVALANCHE operatives off his hands and it'd be their blood swirling in the drain, not soap. He'd get the necessary information without any hassle. Then, he'd deal with the reactor situation and he'd be able to return his attention to the chaos of the war. Same old, Same old.

But he was getting this feeling. It was the same feeling he'd gotten the day he'd been forced to kill Angeal on that mission to Modeoheim. The day he'd met Cloud…

Despite the sounds of the everyday filling his ears, he felt a horrible sense of foreboding. A chill was running down his spine unlike any other. Contrastind greatly with the warm water running over his shoulders and down his back. Perhaps, it was all because of the dream he'd had. The dream had left him in a cold sweat, and he felt confusion that he hadn't felt in a long time. It wasn't really a dream, more like a memory that continued to haunt him in his nightmares. It was the day he had taken the last step towards being the slave Shinra had wanted him to be.

* * *

><p>He'd moved from a slave being trained in the kennels, to a slave released into the world of servitude he had been fighting against tooth and nail. He was moved from the tiny underground cage of the least travelled slave kennel in Midgar, to the much larger above ground cage of the Shinra building. He was given limited freedoms, but he still felt raw, trapped and confused every morning he woke and saw the white ceiling of his SOLDIER quarters instead of the roof of the earthen cave he'd been given. The sounds of the SOLDIERs outside, instead of the sounds of slaves usually brought his senses back to him, usually made him remember where he was, what he was doing, what he was going to be stuck doing everyday of his miserable life. He'd remember his little schedule. Wake up, shower, get dressed, eat protein bar that tasted like shit for breakfast, go to office, do paper work, go to training grounds, inspect troops, greet recruits, go to VR room and go on VR prep missions, go on real missions, come back, see Rufus, get fucked by Rufus, take another shower, see Tseng, go on missions with Tseng, go to office, do more paperwork, see Rufus again, get fucked again, give Rufus head, give Rufus a show, go to apartment, shower again, eat more protein shit that the labs forced him to eat, go to bed, scream internally, plot revenge.<p>

He sometimes found it funny that Rufus had been stupid enough to give him the power of being a SOLDIER again, nonetheless the general of the fucking army.

The man's stupidity was abso-fucking-lutely vast. Surely the boy, because really he was far too young to be called a man, a teenager really, didn't think that putting a materia infused collar around his neck and reinforced steal cuffs on his wrists would keep him from rebelling? Well, perhaps the fact that the boy had the key, and could use it to melt the skin around his neck and force tiny spikes to grow from the cuffs and into his wrists had something to do with that. For such a smart boy, it was sure stupid of him to think that the only ways Zack could rebel against him were obvious rebellions consisting of stupid violence and rash threatening.

Well, Zack didn't really mind, it gave him an easy way of keeping the boy's daddy oblivious to what was going on within his all powerful military. Occasionally he put on a show of rebellion in order to keep suspicion away. He allowed his control over his homicidal hatred to break, just a little, so that he could tear apart his office every other month. He destroyed a VR room every once and a while just for kicks. It was fun to watch the sparks fly, the techies freak out, and the men gasp in awe and reverence. He disobeyed some orders in the bedroom, sometimes trying to walk out of the room completely, just so that Rufus could get the chance to use his collar.

Zack knew that Rufus hadn't expected Zack to be completely broken. He knew that it wouldn't make sense for him not to struggle on a few occasions. So, to keep the suspicion down, he sometimes let his inner demons slip out and fuck some things up for the blond Vice-President.

Zack steadily built up his tolerance for the pain brought by the devices that kept him obedient. They looked like decoration, not like the collar and chains of regular slaves. All Zack had to do to explain them off was ramble out a completely fictional story about his great, great, great ancestor, a fight with a dragon in the depths of the Nibel mountains, a quest to break a curse set upon his descendants, and magical stones that kept the dragons at bay. Sometimes his ability to weave a web of lies so convincing the men actually believed that it was tradition in the Fair family to put decorative cuffs and a collar on their first born sons in order to keep the dragon from finding them and scorching their eyes and tongues out awed even himself. Of course, some of his closest friends, really just Tseng and Kunsel, knew the truth of it. Once or twice they had been with Zack as he told the recruits this fanciful story of glory. They'd deemed Zack a master at deception after seeing the cadets' wide eyes and complete, total, reverential, trust.

Zack was pretty sure that after a while the cadets realized that the ornaments were not mere decoration, but by then he'd already had them all (those that were left alive after the extremely dangerous training missions that Zack still couldn't get Heidegger to ban from practice) wrapped around his finger. Only the upper ranks knew about Zack's cause. That is, only the upper ranks of his secret little society, codenamed the 'almighty puppy fan club' (Kunsel's idea of a joke), knew absolutely everything about why Zack was planning to rebel against Shinra. They knew about what Hojo did in Nibelheim. They knew about the Jenova cells within their mako injections. They knew about the compliance, the ability to actually use _mind control_ that came with it. Zack had gotten a Turk to hack into the system and give him files as proof. He'd also gotten a few of Hojo's ex-assistants, the ones that were smart enough to hide the extent of their knowledge of Hojo to the point where they weren't suddenly found missing like all the others, to give detailed reports of what was going on with Hojo's experiments.

He also managed to open their eyes to the hypocrisy within the company, because really if their _General_, the one who knew every member of the upper staff, saw and testified against their corruption and lack of respect for human life, then it must be true.

* * *

><p>Once again, as Zack left his little apartment at the head of the SOLDIER floor, he couldn't believe what was going on. Here he was dressed in full uniform, yet again. He was going out on missions, doing tiny little assignments, and spending his life performing Shinra's every little whim, despite everything that was going on around him.<p>

People were saluting him as he walked to the elevator and pressed the button for his floor. His office had a whole entire _floor. _He would have been ecstatic to know this, at one point in his life. Now it disgusted him.

He was disgusted to be the General of the Fucking army.


	3. Risk

A/N: Heh Sorry for the long wait. Believe it or not, it really didn't take me that long to write this. I wrote it today and yesterday. SORRY I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Technically, I don't even own the clothes on my back. I bought them on credit.

Chapter 3: Risk

When Zack reached the door to his office he knew there was someone standing behind the door. His senses always gave everybody away. Not once had he been surprised by anything after escaping Hojo's labs. He knew that someone was sneaking up on him before the person had gotten within three yards of him. He knew someone was following him within seconds of them picking up his trail. Not only did he knew who that person was, he also knew how much they weighed, what shampoo and conditioner they used, and whether their boots were pleather or the real stuff. His enhanced senses of smell, sight, hearing, taste and touch combined into an almost otherworldly sense of what was going on around him. Of course, there were times when his senses failed him. Right now, it felt like there wasn't a single life form on the 40th floor of the Shinra building but himself. Which was how he knew Tseng was standing behind his office door. Tseng had a near magical ability to hide his presence. Back when Zack was a regular 1st Class he'd joked about it all the time. "You need to wear a bell, Tseng. It'd help me out!" Of course, Zack was fairly certain not even a bell would give away his friend.

Nowadays, Zack was always able to tell if Tseng was in the room. When he was alone with Tseng he had to constantly look at the main and double check to make sure he wasn't alone. The air around the Wutaian Turk was so devoid of life that Zack couldn't really help but notice. Normal people wouldn't, but normal people didn't feel the mako running beneath the earth, didn't sense the creepy crawlies climbing up the walls, didn't notice the little microscopic signs of life that were everywhere around them. Zack did. Which meant he also noticed when those signs of life were absent. The otherworldly sense of _non-being_ that followed Tseng around was so noticeable to Zack that he knew if the man was on the floor directly above him or directly below him. There was no way for Tseng to hide his presence from Zack. It was impossible. Zack had once considered asking his friend about it, but decided that it would be better to keep his ability to pinpoint the Turk on the down-low. He even feigned surprise when the man showed up out of the blue, or came up in a situation that would surprise the living fuck out of an ordinary person. Zack wanted to keep the depth to his perception to himself, and would prefer if Tseng didn't know about every odd ability he'd gained from his time with Hojo.

Not that Zack wasn't one hundred percent certain that Tseng already knew the true depth to Zack's understanding of everything. He continued to pretend anyways, because even if he wasn't fooling anybody the banter that followed his 'attention-deficit' moments was usually at least a little amusing.

Zack put his hand on the gray green luminescence of the door knob and turned it slowly. He continued whistling a happy tune, as he'd been doing ever since the elevator had reached his floor. He put a bounce in his step, a slight smile on his face, opened the door, and walked in.

He turned the light switch only to find a Wutaian man staring right at him just a few feet away. He feigned surprise jumped a little and backed up a step or two.

He spluttered a few curse words and glared at the long haired Wutaian before him, "Jesus Tseng, you need to wear a fucking bell, tell the secretary you're in here, or adopt some other method to warn me of your presence." His tone of voice was convincingly annoyed, he thought, but he could tell by the expression on the Wutaian's face that Tseng wasn't buying it.

Tseng didn't respond for a few moments and Zack straightened himself up and gave him a funny look. That line was usually Tseng's cue to say something about puppies lacking sensory recall, Shinra's General being a pathetic excuse for a Soldier, or simply give him a glare that would make a lesser man than Zack piss his pants. Tseng just stared at him blankly.

Zack sighed. Bad news was coming, and it obviously wasn't the kind of bad news Zack loved. No, whatever Tseng had to say would either send Zack into a rage or make him cry. Things like this had happened before. Tseng had walked up to Zack, pulled him aside, and informed him something that he never really wanted to know. Then he'd watched silently as Zack reacted the way the "Old-Zack" would have, waiting for the General to surface and solve whatever problem had surfaced. Zack hoped that this time, whatever problem Tseng was going to inform him of didn't end up with Zack slaughtering half a town in order to set an example of a slight rebellion as Shinra demanded he do.

"Alright, I'm serious now, what's going on?" Zack said, he dropped the fake happy expression and let a more truthful, apathetic expression take over his face. He wasn't happy, he didn't like pretending, and at the moment apathy was better than the slight panic he was feeling. He really didn't want a repeat of the slaughter of Bone Village following their tiny, insignificant, not really gonna go anywhere uprising.

"Avalanche isn't just blowing up one reactor, they're blowing up three, they then plan to infiltrate Shinra tower."Tseng dead panned, and Zack sent him a shrewd look.

"Seriously? Are they psychotic?"

"Most likely, but as I know you've realized they've chosen the perfect time to attack, and we're left with quite a few options. Most of them distasteful."

"Of course." Zack let out a drawn out sigh.

Avalanche was smarter than he thought. They'd chosen the perfect time to run a major offensive against Shinra.

Zack had been faced with the same dilemmas for most of the war with Wutai: low numbers of 1st class soldiers, poor instruction in the lower ranks because of the lack of 1st class, and a general lack of military talent among his ranks. He had been doing the best he could with what he had, but he needed some good soldiers, and fast. Recruit posters were placed all around the world, he revamped the structure of the training programs, and he was patiently waiting for veteran fighters and a good supply of men to show up.

His restructure of the training programs worked, a little. He now had a grand total of twelve 1st class Soldiers, 56 2nds, and 150 3rds, which was pretty good considering the fact that three years ago there had been NO 1sts, three 2nds, and only about 40 3rds. Soldier had gone downhill without Sephiroth, and while the numbers of infantry, 6th, 5th, and 4th class Soldiers had remained roughly the same as it had always been, the upper ranks started to disappear right before the president's eyes. Three mass desertions, twenty suicides, and quite a few 'mysterious disappearances' (most likely Hojo's doing), had meant that Zack had to build a new Soldier Program from the ground up.

Zack had sent two of his 1sts, Archer and Charr, brand new, just out of 2nd class, on a string of missions destined to be four months long to Wutai just last week. He would have sent them out sooner, and would have had them relieve the three vets that had been in Wutai for a rigorous seven months, if it weren't for the fact that they were so brand new they would have fucked everything up.

4th Lieutenants Carver and Strain, who had been First Class Soldiers for four months, and were just a little bit more experienced in battle than the other two, had set out for the center of Wutai, the jungle thought to be holding the main leaders of the Wutaian army in a hidden fort, only two hours ago. Zack had sent them, with his fifty best infantrymen and the only three seconds he'd ever given important command posts, off on his way to his office this morning. He'd given his usual speech about honor, added in a few lines about possibly ending the war, and sent them on their way with a smile and a few pats on the back. He really liked those three second class soldiers and as usual hoped they'd come back free of injury, the three of them were destined to be firsts within the next two months, and Zack was desperate. He needed 1st Class soldiers, and good ones at that. That group of men, he had a feeling they would soon be his best, were officially out of contact for the next week and a half. They were only reporting in prior to that halfway mark if there were an emergency, which Gaia bless, there wouldn't be.

When the war with Wutai had started Zack was the only Veteran commander in the SOLDIER program. The other three 1st class soldiers with him at the time were completely green. While Zack was spending his time starting off the vicious second war with Wutai, two more had cropped up. However, that didn't change the fact there were only three 1sts with sufficient command experience for Zack to trust major operations and major command posts to. Those three 1sts had run things with Zack for more than a year of warfare and had been trained by him personally during the four years Zack had been general before the war started. They were really the only ones Zack trusted to run things in Wutai, and he had no shame in making it obvious. The three of them: 1st Lieutenant Shelke, 1st Lieutenant Nero, and Lieutenant General Weiss, ran the three main centers of battle together, switching out occasionally with Zack and with each other. When Zack was originally forced to return to the tower he had the two new 1st class soldiers, 2nd Lieutenant Rossa, and 2nd Lieutenant Azul, apprentice the older ones. They had served well, and while serving under those three veterans they had become seasoned warriors. At the moment, Rossa and Azul were the only 1st class soldiers Zack had on hand.

Zack was supposed to dispatch them to replace Weiss and Nero immediately, and then go to Mount Leviathan and take over for Shelke the day after. In the meantime, 3rd Lieutenant Sear and 3rd Lieutenant Core, the Firsts from the batch of Soldiers that had followed Rossa and Azul, were going to transfer to Utai and start a battle with Fort Tamblin, distracting from the change of hands in Mount Leviathan while the newbies, Charr and Archer, got to experience a day in command over a potentially active, major center of battle. The plan as it had originally been set up was risky, but it was hoped that the friends he'd been forced to give one of the longest string of missions Zack had ever given his subordinates were finally going to be able to come home and get the promotions he'd been meaning to give them for the last three months. He desperately needed Weiss, and Nero home, the two of them had been in Wutai for far too long, so long that Zack feared they would forget that there was any other state than war. Shelke and Zack had switched out during her post at Utai when she had called Zack and had admitted to him that she needed a break, a moment to see that there was a life beyond fighting. The other two firsts had needed a break too, but they were too stubborn to admit to their mentor that they needed a break, which meant that they had a weakness, which they believed they shouldn't have.

After Zack got Shelke's severely encoded, extremely secret message, he immediately dropped everything and set up an operation giving him a month and a half in the field running operations in Utai, and granting Shelke a very much needed month and a half break. After that five week shift he was forced to return to Midgar, but not before he took a moment to beat up Nero and Weiss and set up operations (he originally planned them three months apart but Shinra had been impatient and claimed that he couldn't have his general on the field for a five month long period, which was ridiculous, common sense said a dangerous situation involved _keeping _the general _off_ the field for five months) that gave each of them a month off. Both operations were forced upon Weiss and Nero three months after he beat the living shit out of them, and neither of them had taken the time to do what Zack wanted them to do. According to Tseng, they'd spent the entire time training in the VR rooms and sparring with each other in front of the cadets, which made Zack greatly regret that he had to give the brothers a month off together, instead of separately like he'd planned. They spent the time engaging in their brotherly competition instead of relaxing as they should have.

Conveniently, Zack being forced to go to the President and tell him that he HAD to go to Wutai and switch out with his commanding officers and fulfill the role of General on the field because there were too few 1st class soldiers had convinced the man to further improve the training facilities. This led to Rossa and Azul reaching the level of ability Zack looked for in 1st classes, but Zack still insisted on going to Wutai for at least a week every other month, more often than not he manipulated his way into very important two to three week missions. He was the general, and there was a war, a war which had lasted three and a half years and was scheduled to last at least another year and a half, if Zack didn't end it within the next six months as was planned. He was supposed to be on the battlefield. He wasn't doing his job if he was stuck in Midgar.

It looked like, with the latest development regarding Avalanche, the war might end up being over sooner than Zack planned.

As it was, Zack was screwed before Avalanche decided to ruin things for him. He was destined to have a disaster at one point or another, with his limited number of capable commanding officers. He'd already been forced to have 2nds take up positions that had previously been delegated only to first classes. It was really no wonder that something like this was going to happen. Zack had been as cautious as possible. The switching out of commanding officers had been put off for as long as it could be. There'd finally been a lull in battle in Wutai that Zack thought trustworthy enough to hazard the change, but given this recent information, Zack realized that this lull in battle may have been an attempt by Wutai to catch him unawares.

He'd managed to switch out C.O.s subtly once or twice. He'd been able to pull the wool over Wutai's eyes by switching out Weiss, Nero, and Shelke during a major battle. He took over and caused so much havoc in Wutai that his previous nickname "Mad Dog of Wutai" had been changed to "Mad Dog of Chaos." They hadn't even realized that the three other "Fearsome Firsts", Weiss the Immaculate, Nero the Sable, and Shelke the Transparent were gone. Zack had switched back out and forced them to work tirelessly for another seven months without anyone realizing they'd had a break at all. The Wutaians had been waiting for him to switch them out, they'd obviously been planning something, but Zack had foiled their plans easily, so much so that he was fairly certain that they had completely forgotten them. It looked like he wasn't going to be able to pull such a feat again.

So far, Zack had been able to run this war by doing the unexpected. His moves were so manipulative, so confusing, so seemingly unconnected that if he summed up his tactics in one sentence it would probably be: "Attack three different places, in three different ways, with three different goals." And that was what he'd been doing so far. However, it seemed that Zack would have to change that up a little with this new bounty of information. He was going to have to attack four different places, in seven different ways, with only two different goals, if there were any way for him to keep this turn of events from screwing everything up. He just had to figure out how the hell he was going to manage it. He was fairly certain he'd manage it easily, but there were so many particulars to deal with that there were a few uncertainties in his plans.

After all, Avalanche and Wutai had managed to choose the perfect time to screw over all of his plans regarding taking down Shinra peacefully.

While the general infantry, Midgar police, and pretty much any available soldier evacuated the sectors featuring the soon to be blown up reactors, the tower would be in shambles. Avalanche would take this opportunity to attack the tower. Zack would be the only First Class Soldier in Midgar for a total of eight hours today. Somewhere in that window Avalanche was going to turn Midgar into a city of chaos. Really, it was the perfect opportunity to destroy Shinra. Wutai and Avalanche were very obviously in it together. Wutai would ambush the switch off of firsts, and then be able to destroy the main centers of occupation in Wutai. Avalanche would take the tower. Shinra would fall, that is if it weren't for Zack being there.

He couldn't let it happen. As much as he wanted Shinra down, he wanted it to be done bloodlessly. This option would lead to slaughter on both sides in Wutai, mass hysteria and great loss of life in Midgar, and many innocent people dead. The large majority of people within the ranks of Shinra were like Zack had been. The average age of Shinra workers was 17 years old, the youngest of the norm was 12 the oldest of the norm was 23. The vast majority of them were fools just like Zack, people stupid enough to believe that Shinra was actually a force for good. He couldn't let all of those people die, he couldn't let the innocents on the streets of Midgar die, and he couldn't let the loyal men fighting for him in Wutai die.

He had many options. A lot of them only solved half the problem. Most of them were so ridiculous that he threw them out of his mind before they could garner enough attention to waste his time.

He gave Tseng a serious look, the man had been standing there patiently while Zack had gone into a state of thought that looked like he'd been transported out of his body. Every little bit of information he knew about the current situation filled his mind. Tseng had nine higher level Turks Zack trusted enough to ask for help: Reno, Rude, Cissnei, Kid, Veld, Verdot, Legend, Rod, and Elena. There were Twenty-three 2nds in Midgar who were functioning members of his faction, considering the fact that there were only thirty-seven 2nds currently in Midgar that was good. Especially if Zack had personally trained twelve of the remaining 2nds and those men weren't a part of the faction purely because Zack hadn't asked them yet. Zack had roughly seventy third class soldiers in Midgar at the moment, five hundred infantry as well. Of those five hundred and seventy lower class soldiers a grand total of three hundred supported him. There were many ways Zack could deal with this situation.

Zack began to pace as he considered his options and Tseng sighed.

"Any way for you to tell me what you're thinking?" the Wutaian asked clamly. His voice was smooth and sultry as usual. There was a hint of amusement in his voice, Zack looked up and saw the touch of a smile in the man's eyes and gave him a grim smile in return. He saw the flash of annoyance in the man's eyes and chuckled as Tseng took a step forward.

Zack had realized Tseng's attraction to him back when he was a brand new First class, before things had gone to shit. At the time, he'd been straight, and had told him so. That didn't stop him from being Tseng's friend, though, and he was almost certain that Tseng was very grateful for that friendship. He realized the man's _love _for him, and how gentle, kind, and mystical the man was seven years ago, about six months after he'd gotten out of the slave kennels. The man was his friend, nothing more, and Zack didn't purposefully use the man's love for him, although he was often tempted to, in order to make the man join his side and become a valuable leader within his faction. Tseng had approached him. He claimed that as a Turk he was supposed to turn a blind eye to the sin of the company, and that he had done well in that for a long time. However, he had reached the point where, as a human, he no longer could watch the corruption, the evil that graced the walls of Shinra. He said that this opinion had been grounded in his mind after seeing the demented cruelty of Hojo's labs and the madness of Sephiroth, a man he'd known as a boy, a man he'd always thought was an angel in a devil's disguise. Zack believed him, despite the fact that it was a Turk's job to lie, and specifically Tseng's job to root out sedition within the ranks. He saw the truth in the other man's eyes.

"Hey, Tseng? You know I'd tell you what I was thinking if I actually knew, right? Just give me a minute." Zack smiled as Tseng nodded and backed off.

"I always prefer it when you swear immediately after hearing bad news. This long, overdrawn process of thinking always gets to me. It normally leads to a mass network of maneuvers that nearly gets my head blown off, or the entire faction, our previous maneuvers, whatever actions we currently have in place, and any common goal we share caught out." Tseng sighed and moved over to Zack's desk, taking a seat in Zack's chair.

Zack raised an eyebrow, "Who said you could take my chair?"

"The fact that you are most likely going to spend the next five minutes pacing and going through plans of action in your head that would take a normal, less manipulative, less cunning man than yourself a few days to formulate and review."

"1 for Tseng. 3 for me." Zack said out loud as he began to do exactly what Tseng had described.

"When did you get three points? And what are these points for?" Tseng asked, Zack could practically hear the man's raised eyebrow.

"Well, baby, that's for me to know….. and you to never find out!" Zack exclaimed in a falsely chipper voice. He gave Tseng a sly look and stopped his pacing. He turned his back to the man, bent over and took off his boots. He felt the other man's eyes on him and grinned as he stood back up and placed his boots in front of him.

"Why did you just do that?" Tseng asked, there was a little bit of huskiness in his voice.

Zack turned over his shoulder and winked.

"6 for me and 1 for Tseng." Zack said.

"This isn't the time for your games." Tseng sighed irritably and Zack gave the Wutaian an exasperated look.

"You're the one talking over my pacing-thought-process- time." Zack said.

Tseng sighed yet again. "Understood."

Zack gave Tseng a playful look and set about pacing again, this time refreshingly barefoot. He hated shoes of any kind, would rather go about the world barefoot, if it weren't for the fact that being a barefoot Soldier would probably result in bloodied, bruised, and blistered feet.

Zack frowned, he really hated his options.

OPTION ONE: Not switch out the 1sts in Wutai, cancel all deployments, and all retraction of soldiers. Yeah, that would probably keep the centers in Wutai lasting just a little bit longer, foiling the ambush soon to occur in Wutai. However that option was unacceptable to Zack as a general. Never, never, never had he done that to his Soldiers. He knew how it felt. Shinra used to tell Soldiers they had to stay deployed for another month or so after the end of their original deployment during the first war in Wutai all the time. He'd seen what it did. He would not allow that to happen, primarily because he didn't know how to deal with the repercussions of such an action. Loyalty was key to Zack, a large number of the returning soldiers were a part of his faction within the empire. They wouldn't understand why he stopped the attempt to destroy Shinra. While they would give him a chance to explain, and trust his actions even if he didn't, he didn't want any doubts planted within their minds. Also, it really was imperative that Weiss, Shelke, and Nero come home while Rossa and Azul were deployed. The latter were becoming stir crazy being stuck in Midgar while the war was still un-won and the men they had trained, fought with, and been friends with were dying. Every First Class Soldier was a part of his faction, but that didn't mean they couldn't get angry with him and make his life difficult.

The order of deploy, and the order of retraction could be changed up last minute as long as he informed his men that they had been compromised, and it was likely that Wutai would make a potentially lethal move.

OPTION TWO: Not evacuate the city of civilians. The President and all of the other heartless officials on the top floor would go for this option. However, Zack refused to let this happen. Zack would not allow the people in Midgar to die because Shinra was stupid enough to ignore the planet and some people were actually willing to do something about it.

OPTION THREE: Find out which three reactors were going to be blown up and stop it.

Zack stopped for a moment in his thinking.

"Do you know which three reactors yet?" Zack asked. Tseng looked kind of surprised. He was obviously expecting a long stream of curses. Regardless, he shook his head no.

"Damn. Have y'all been doing anything?" Zack spat out a curse and began pacing around the room yet again.

"Yes, I have. We've captured three more Avalanche members. One is low-level, a need to know guy. Two are higher up, hopefully enough to know at least a little about one of the Reactors. The other two higher up Avalanche, the ones we captured last night, the ones you asked me to keep cold for you. As you expected, I tortured them anyways. Three spies have been compromised. "

Zack turned to him and glared for a moment. Then shook his head, he'd known that Tseng wouldn't do as he asked, and actually, he'd been hoping that the other man would tire them out for him, make them scared, lonely, tired, as he approached.

"Fine."

It was good that they now knew the location of three spies. He was planning to leak false information immediately.

He went back to pacing, keeping the new information fresh in his mind.

OPTION FOUR: Evacuate the entire city of Midgar. It would probably stop the loss of life caused by the blowing up of the Reactors, but Shinra would be pissed because the reactors were still going to be blown up and a large majority of the workers within the tower would flat out refuse to leave. Money, Money, Money, it all came back to that. Shinra would not be happy with their General if he didn't manage to stop the reactors from being blown up at all. Zack was going to have to turn into a raving lunatic and intimidate his soldiers into doing everything they could during this situation. The evacuation... there really was no way for Zack to evacuate the entire city, there were no emergency evacuation procedures in place. Still, it wouldn't be a bad idea to simply evacuate the top floor of Shinra executives, pin point which reactors would serve a better strategic advantage to Avalanche to blow up and evacuate those sectors.

OPTION FIVE: Allow the attack on the tower, but stop it before the motherfuckers got further in than the lobby. Sitting back and doing nothing, letting things play out, wasn't exactly an option considering the fact that Zack didn't really know how they were going to attack and a frontal assault most likely wasn't what they were going to do. He couldn't risk it, and there was little chance of him succeeding in this situation if he took it all on himself.

All options Zack could think of at the moment weren't plausible. He needed more information, which meant he should stop pacing, and Tseng should stop staring at him and tell him every single bit of information he knew, and Zack should probably let out a stream of curses in order for himself to have a clear head when he went into the holding cell of those mother fucking terrorists they had captured and get every single bit of information they had to offer.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fucking HELL!" Zack exclaimed. He then let out a stream of the dirtiest Gongagan he knew, the extent of his Wutaian vocabulary (all of it consisted of swear words), and any curse in any language he knew.

Tseng just watched.

Zack punched the air, kicked a leg up and let out a few vicious snarls.

Tseng continued to stare.

Zack turned on the Wutaian and grabbed his shirt snarling something about the mother fucker not telling him sooner.

Tseng continued to stare.

Zack relaxed, backed up, smoothed out the Turk's rumpled suit and gave the man a dangerous smile.

The Wutaian shivered imperceptibly, it was so slight that anyone other than Zack wouldn't have seen it.

"So, any other pertinent information you need to add? Or should I just start heading to those fuckers' holding cells, start giving orders to Wutai, start cancelling all training missions, and start deploying more infantry, police, etc. to the reactors?"

"The president has ordered that the mako be drained out of the sector three, six, and five Mako reactors. Tuesti suggested that this strategy would limit the number of reactors they are likely to blow up and allow us to consecrate our forces. I approved the action and said that you would have agreed that it was wise. It will be done-" Tseng looked at the watch on his wrist, "The removal of mako from the sector three Mako reactor is complete. The Sector six reactor will be empty within the next hour, and the sector five reactor within the following two."

"You know? That is exactly what I told the motherfucker last night!" Zack didn't hide his annoyance. _Shit-heads never listen. It's not like I hold a position of extreme power, now, is it? It's not like I know what I'm doing! _"But of course, don't listen to the pretty boy soldier! It's not like the guy has been rebuilding your fucked up military for the last seven years." Zack wasn't ashamed to admit that he was growling in frustration.

"I'm way too under-appreciated!" Zack exclaimed, ending his rant.

"Five-" Of course, Tseng would call him out on his counting. Zack had been General seven years. He'd been actively rebuilding the fucked up shit-hole for five, only because the ass-hat President and the fat-ass Heidegger, wouldn't let him do his _job _for two years. Stupid fucking _idiots!_

Zack didn't want to consider how illogical it was that he actually cared about the state of Shinra's military. Logic said that he wouldn't give a damn and would have left it to rot. However, Zack did care. He wanted the Soldier program to remain intact. It was too close to his heart, despite the evil that surrounded it's creation. Once a Soldier, always a Soldier.

"Oh big fucking deal, you know he owes a large majority of his power to me, this fucking military was a sinking rock when I got here."

Tseng let a small smile grace his features.

"Yes, Zack, it was." Zack looked at Tseng closely, trying to detect any sign of mocking in the man's face.

Instead he found a deep well of fondness in the Wutaian man's grey eyes and a smile Zack knew was reserved only for himself on his lips. This caused Zack to smile back wickedly. He took a few steps towards the chair the Wutaian was currently relaxing in, letting a playful light enter his eyes.

"Is that a compliment?"He said in a sultry voice. He began to lean down into the other man's personal space.

"Now is not the time for flirtation."

"Well, I don't know, I mean it seems like a perfect time for a last fuck. The world is coming to an end." He leaned ever closer, put his hands on either armrest and began to bend his knees a little. He didn't know why he was hitting on the other man. Perhaps Tseng's attraction to him had caused him to feel a little something too? Or maybe he simply wanted to be touched by somebody he cared for, that actually cared for him?

Or maybe Zack was finally going off the deep end. Yep. That was it.

"You're over-exaggerating. The situation is being dealt with as we speak." Tseng's voice had no inflection, as always, but the man was starting to lean up a little into Zack and his eyes hadn't left the other man's.

Zack's smile widened and he gracefully fell to his knees so that he was now looking up at Tseng instead of down. He saw a flash of fire enter the other man's eyes, even as his face remained impassive.

"Really, now? I don't think it is. I still have to order about six movements in Wutai in order to counteract the movements I know they're about to make."

Tseng raised an eyebrow. Zack grinned. "Come on, don't tell me you haven't realized that Avalanche and Wutai are currently in item? Really? Baby, you're kind of slow on the uptake."

Tseng's eyes widened and he spat out a Wutaian curse. Zack actually knew this one and choked back a small laugh. He gracefully pulled his hands back from the armrest and rested one elbow beside Tseng's left leg. He leaned his chin on it and smiled at his companion, waiting for the questions he knew would come.

"How?"

"Good question. They've been watching us closely, and they probably have some inside information. Don't worry doll-face. It's actually no surprise you didn't realize the connection with Wutai. I'm the only one who knows every movement of troops on both sides, and I'm the only one who knows about the little situation we have regarding capable Commanding officers."

"What are you going to tell them to do?"

"Weiss, Shelke, and Nero are coming home. No ifs, ands, or buts. However, instead of having the ever so lovely Rossa and Azul replace them, as was the original plan, I'm having Archer, who's been Weiss's second for about a month take over the command in Utai. The squad of 2nds, 3rds and 4ths, who are running Fort Tier are going to retreat to Serayu where Azul is going to be shipped out about nine hours sooner than planned. Nero is going to leave Serayu five hours later than planned and there will be no phone calls there telling them of these changes. Send Reno to Utai and Cissnei to Serayu to inform them of their orders."

Tseng raised an eyebrow. "Last I heard I was the director of the Turks, not you."

"Well, you swore your loyalty to me, which means that you are going to be a great buddy and help me deal with this situation." Zack turned his body a little so that he was facing the wall to his left and leaned his right side against Tseng's blue-clad legs. The contact relaxed him further. He knew what to do, and he knew how to deal with the current large stinking shit bag he'd been handed.

"Reno and Cissnei will go, but what about Shelke in Mount Leviathon? She is running the only active site of battle and while there is a lull at the moment, she cannot leave." Tseng spoke softly, there was no lack of faith in his voice, he felt that Zack knew what to do and how to do it. He trusted him, and this made Zack smile and turn towards him. He turned to face Tseng fully and moved his arms in the man's lap. The other man didn't move and watched cautiously as Zack put his head on the arms he had crossed over Tseng's thighs. Zack liked this contact, as of yet it wasn't sexual. Purely platonic. He knew that some not so innocent thoughts were running through Tseng's mind, but he also knew that Tseng wasn't making any moves any time soon. The man was cautious in everything.

"We're gonna pull a maneuver similar to what we did during Utai when Shelke was close to a break down." Zack sighed. Tseng's presence was always soothing.

"How are we going to do that when you have to be here to deal with the Reactor situation?" Tseng asked leaning back into his seat and staring at the ceiling. Apparently, he was relaxed by Zack's touch just as much as Zack was by his.

"Heh. You see, I was kind of hoping you'd help me out with that." Zack gave Tseng a hopeful look.

"You want me to take over for you? Zack, I-" the other man had quickly sat up straight and given him a startled look.

"No, NO, no! I want you to sneak Rossa in and Shelke out! I also want you to have Veld get there as fast as possible carrying my orders to attack within an hour of his arrival."

"Do you want me to send Turks to aid in the attack?"

Zack gave a thoughtful look. "Yeah, sure. I want y'all to make it as much chaos over there for Wutai as Avalanche is trying to cause around here."

"Speaking of…."Tseng gave Zack a cautious look, leaned forward, lowered his voice and put his lips a hair's breath away from Zack's left ear. "Isn't this the best opportunity for us to make our move?"

"No. After we've evacuated the top floor of Shinra officials, foiled Avalanche's attempts to blow up the reactors and stopped all chances of Shinra defeat in Wutai, we're going to take over. You, me, and Tuesti."

"Really, now? I think we still haven't asked Tuesti to join us, and that there are a lot of particulars to that plan that have not been dealt with yet."

"Oh, but baby, surprise is what's going to do us wonders!"

"Explain."

Zack grinned.

"Baby, what did I just say about surprise?"

"I'm not doing anything unless you tell me exactly how everything's going to work out."

Zack sighed impatiently and leaned away from his friend. He reached his arms behind his head, crossing them, and stretching out his back, before responding again.

"Well, the stuff regarding Wutai is pretty straight forward. I don't want this military defeated. I've spent too much time rebuilding it. You know that my goal isn't only to destroy Shinra but make it into a governing power that protects the planet, right?"

"Yes. I believe that was what the plan was."

"Well, the Soldier program has to be intact for that to happen. So does the science department, hateful as it is. It runs all medical research and supplies every hospital on the continent. The engineering department is already on our side, Tuesti is their unofficial head and has them searching for new energy resources. Although I'm sure Highwind has ties with terrorists as well as us, the space program, mechanical engineering, nautical, aerial and etc. are on our side if he is. Which he is, as dubious as his loyalties are he prefers as few deaths as possible."

"Tuesti? Since when is he our man?"

"Heh. Sorry about that. He doesn't know Turks are involved, he can be a little… Chicken-shit? He's been our man ever since I've been sending 2nds and 3rds on unofficial UD missions. Remember Heidegger? The ass has been stopping all requests from the Department of Urban Development ever since that little tiff he and Reeve had during that higher up 'staff meeting', which are really just boring little lectures from each department head. It started about six months ago."

"Really? How many technicians has Reeve lost because of that?"

"None, as soon as I saw that there were no missions from UD, which was as soon as Heidegger stopped them, I started sending faction Soldiers to Reeve. It took one conversation for that man to figure out something was funky and the promise of unlimited faction escort to get him to join our cause, although I'm fairly certain he would have joined even if I'd refused the escort service."

"Hmmm."

"Will you take me to interrogate those Avalanchers now?"

"After I give Reno, Rude, Cissnei, Veld, Kid, Legend, Rod, Elena, and Verdot their orders."

_Heh, I knew it._

Tseng stood up and Zack got a nice view of the man's thighs before squawking loudly and standing up himself.

"Not cool!" Zack exclaimed brushing himself down.

Tseng just smirked. Zack raised an eyebrow and was shocked to see the smug expression replaced with a serious one.

"Zack….. there's another matter of which you would like to be informed."

The serious tone led to a pause in Zack's happiness. He turned to pick up his shoes, knowing the only other subjects this conversation could be headed to.

"Hojo has…."

"Captured Aerith? I knew it'd happen eventually." Zack turned and faced Tseng, a serious frown graced both men's faces.

"Should I order a turk to go into the Science department and watch after her?"

Zack raised an eyebrow. "And how would you explain that away?"

"I wouldn't. I'd say that Elena was joining the others and really order her on a top-secret faction mission to make sure that the girl isn't extremely harmed by Hojo in any way."

"Well then, problem solved." Zack said. He walked over to his desk and sat on the edge of it as he began to put his shoes back on.

"You don't wish for me to order an extraction? You don't wish to see her?"

"Enough people are threatened by this Reactor business and by Wutai's cooperation with Avalanche, without me being distracted. She's okay at the moment. I know what Hojo is like at the beginning and I know what the extent of his interest in her is at the moment. She'll be fine for a day or two."

"If you say so." Tseng spoke softly but Zack turned on him anyways. He glared at the Turk for a few moments before speaking again.

"She's fine, and besides, I'm not ready to see her."

"Alright, you need to see Rufus, today, at some point. It's been a week since you went to see him. You know what he'll do if you don't. I'll have Reno, Rude, Cissnei, and Veld leave immediately. Your orders shall be in the hands of your firsts within the next hour and the actions will begin as soon as you give the signal."

"Give them these." Zack reached into his desk and pulled out three PHS systems. All of them were rigged specially to his own, all of them were designed by Reeve and impossible to crack. Many more would be issued to faction members within the next six hours.

"Yes."

"Do you think it would be possible to skip Rufus today? I mean, what's one more day?"

"He won't evacuate unless you explain everything to him personally, also, he's impatient. You know that you're pushing it. Last time you waited this long he-"

"I know, I know. He'll use the collar again if I don't go. It was so awkward trying to explain that away to that group of cadets last time."

"Then go."

"I will, it's just. Gaia, when will this end?" Zack asked. He didn't bother to hide the strangled quality to his voice and there was no way for him to wipe the pain from his face.

"Zack... All you need do is ask and I'll kill him within a second." Tseng said. He turned to face Zack fully, he'd already been halfway to the door. The expression on his face relieved Zack a little. Someone cared for his pain. That was good... and bad.

"I don't need your pity. I don't need you to rescue me." Zack said. He sent a glare in Tseng's direction without meaning to.

Tseng didn't respond. He just walked out. Zack was left alone in his office to plan out the rest of his day.

He resisted the urge to smash everything in sight as unadulterated rage filled him. He let out a violent sigh when the words: "You' are my hero, everything I want to be. Thank you." filled his mind along with a feminine face with blue eyes and a chaotic blonde fringe concealing a pale forehead.

_Cloud, would you just sit back and let Avalanche and Wutai do their thing? Would you just let this crazy thing take down Shinra? Or would you create a chaotic plan to limit the loss of life as much as possible? Even at the risk of failing?_


End file.
